Every up and every down

[Day 41]

Sometimes your days are unpredictable. Today was one of those days that yo-yo'd between being good and bad so many times that I'm here at the end and I'm not sure if I should be expecting another down after that latest up? I don't even know. Let's talk about the workout first, then I'll give you the timeline of my day.

Today's Workout: PM rec swim slash tri team practice (I sort of used both time periods because it was what was convenient to me)
Summary:

• WU: 1000 SKIPS
• Main Set: straight through
• 200 free @ 3:10
• 4 x 150 IM no free @ 2:30
• 200 free @ 3:00 (was supposed to be 3:05 but it made counting awkward so I just sort of did whatever...)
• 4 x 125 fly/free/back/free/breast @ 2:00
• 200 free @ 3:00
• 4 x 100 IM @ 1:40
• 200 free @ 2:50 (was supposed to be 2:55, but again, counting...)
• 4 x 75 IM no free @ 1:15
• 200 free @ 2:50
• 4 x 50 IMO @ :55
• WD: 200 easy
• Total Distance: 4200 SCY, 70 mins

Hit Rate: 44/46 (95.6%)

Notes/thoughts:

• My legs were not 100% rested because I felt them burn a bit early on in the set and opted not to use them very much because of it, but the rest of me felt real good from the extra rest (I slept in this morning and I skipped the AM lift, will explain later on) and I think that really showed in this workout. Also, both workouts that I've done in the Wash U pool this year have been way quicker than I was expecting, enough to make me question if the pool is even set to the right length. I'm sure it is. So the only other explanation is probably that these are the only two swims that I haven't done fasted. The test set AM swim involved me getting up early enough to eat and digest breakfast before going to the pool and today I swam in the evening so I had already had dinner. I know from my college days that the gap between how I swim when I'm fasted and how I swim when I'm fed is huge, but I think I had sort of not thought about it much since I take all of my swims fasted in the mornings now. It's mind blowing to then have a non-fasted workout (while rested no less!) and see that difference first hand again. Fuel is so key. 
• (On that note, some people will probably wonder why it is that I don't eat before morning workouts. That's actually totally elective. I think one important thing about being an endurance athlete is teaching the body to function while fasted. Sure, it's also important to practice race day nutrition, etc. etc., but at the end of the day the body can only process so much external fuel so fast. You're really limited by your digestive system. It makes more sense to try and train the metabolic system to be able to find fuel when it's got nothing external to depend on, so that's why even on weekends when I do have time to eat before my workouts, unless I'm up really early for another reason, I don't intentionally get up early to eat breakfast. I like to take my workout first.)
• I was honestly expecting to need to go on more forgiving pace times than this. To have gone straight through at this pace seriously blows my mind. I mean the free pace times were pretty easy (although that last one did hurt) but the IM times definitely pushed me and I dunno, I just didn't think that I was here fitness wise. It's really amazing. Another interesting thing I've noticed is just how much more resilient my body is during workouts. When all I did was swim full time, I had way more speed/power in the water than I do now, but I couldn't last through workouts like this and just keep pounding consistently like I can now. That's a really recent development and I think it's just the rest of the training showing through. I love that so much, I love seeing the work I'm putting in pay off in places that I don't expect it to. It makes me just want to keep working harder.

Okay let me tell you about my day:

• Henry talked me out of the morning lift. I was worried about being unprepared for my microbes quiz and he was the reasonable one who told me that I need to prioritize school. I was planning on getting up early and studying for that but actually ended up sleeping in by a lot. (I had a 5:30 am alarm, then ended up sleeping until 6:30 am, and the most amazing part was that it felt like I had closed my eyes for a split second after I reset my alarm before it was going off again.) I felt physically fantastic (which seemed like a small miracle given how horrible I had felt last night going to bed, the trainer ride hit me pretty hard) but also a bit guilty about all the extra sleeping...In any case, it was still more time than I would've otherwise has and I was able to get all the studying I needed to do in the morning.
• Morning classes were good, I was able to go home and make some food as well so I would have lunch and dinner today and lunch for both Henry and I tomorrow. I took my microbes quiz in the afternoon and it was easy and went well. I had a library session for a POM assignment that I didn't really want to go to, but honestly that went pretty well too. Then I think my brain sort of gave up on me so when I had to go home and cram for my immuno take home and then take it, I had a really rough time. I did eventually get it done and I ate dinner and wasted some time (which I felt pretty guilty about, but I was just so mentally blown) before heading out to my swim.
• Now at this point, it seemed like everything was going according to plan. I had worried that I would need more time for immuno than I ended up needing, so I had been concerned earlier in the day that I wouldn't be able to get out to the pool in time to go pick Henry up, but that turned out not to be an issue and I was so excited to just do my swim and then go see Henry. Well I got to the pool and realized that I had brought everything I needed except for my suit, which I normally wear under my clothes when I swim in the morning, but that wasn't what I did today because I was swimming in the evening. I was devastated. I know, I sound like a total diva, but that's what it was. Here I was going about my day thinking, man it's been so crazy but I'm getting to the end and all I have to do is swim and go to the airport and everything will be great. Instead I find myself trekking back to my place in the snow via the metro and wasting about an hours worth of time in order to pick up my suit so I could go swim. I thought briefly about just not swimming and doing work or going to the gym or something else instead, but I really wanted to do today's workout and it was important to me to prove that I wasn't going to let my own idiocy stand in my way, so I ended up sucking it up and going. Boy am I glad that I did.
• So I had made contingency plans to not be able to go to the airport, since I had wasted an entire hour. (Which I really could have used to do things like study for my physiology exam next week... -sigh-) I was expecting the workout to take me pretty long, since it was a 4200 yard IM workout. Instead I ended up being in and out of the pool in 70 minutes and I realized that I would have just enough time to get to the airport if I rushed and made the metro. I did. I am here now, writing this post from the airport, waiting for Henry's plane (which was actually conveniently delayed by a bit, this is the only time in my entire life that's I've been glad a plane of his is delayed), eating a bagel and drinking some milk I treated myself to from the airport bagel place. I know, not quite the right balance of macros for a post-workout snack, but whatever, carbs for life, right?
• Fun thing worth noting, there was a sign posted up on the blackboard that I noticed for the first time today. I'm sure it's there for the varsity team, and what it reads is this: "The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do". Honestly, I had counted myself out after all the madness earlier in the day, but my workout blew my mind. I don't think I have very many people telling me I can't do stuff, but I think I tell myself that all the time. I have so much doubt and so much fear and so much uncertainty and the only reason I keep going is because I love it so much it hurts and because there are so many wonderful people in my life who believe in me. Today, I got to prove myself wrong, I literally thought the words, "I can't do X, Y, and Z" and then went on to do those things. That is in fact a great pleasure in life. 
• As an addendum to that, I think part of the reason I swam well today was because I had been fired up. I was so upset with myself for making a stupid mistake like forgetting my suit and I was so worked up, and being worked up puts me on a different plane mentally sometimes. Sometimes it totally wipes motivation out of me, but today it didn't. Today I felt like I had something to prove. I had to make my workout so good it was worth that wasted hour. I had to prove that I was better than these stupid things that I do sometimes. And I think I did prove that, but my point is really that on some days, making mistakes drives me. Although if given the chance to do things again, I would have definitely opted not to do the dumb thing that led to my great swim, I do also want to acknowledge that I think the experience did have some value. It put a kind of fight in me that I don't always have, and I'm appreciative for that much. 

Okay this post is long enough as is. Henry just landed. Yayyyyyyyyy. Oh one last thing to explain: I'm not docking the hit rate for not going to the gym today because that workout is actually getting shifted to tomorrow evening, so I'll get to go lift with Henry! It means back to back doubles the next two days, which will probably be sort of rough, but whatever, I'll get by. No change in total number of workouts, so as long as I actually do go to the gym tomorrow, I figure the it's fine. Morning trainer ride tomorrow and gym sesh in the evening, let's get it! (:

Much love,

Jess