All I do is sleep

[Day 153]

Things accomplished today: Woke up, went to practice, came home, ate breakfast, promptly fell back into bed and just woke up again. Good job Jess lol. Doubled up yesterday, so here's the summary from yesterday and today!

Yesterday's PM Workout: Easy run, 4 mi
Summary: 4.34 mi, 42:00, 9:40 pace, 176 spm
Pace splits by mile: 10:05, 9:29, 9:53, 9:41, 8:21
Hit Rate: 18/23 (78.2%)

This was way harder than I thought it was going to be. My legs just didn't feel with it, it was a struggle for most of the way until we did a little pick up push at the end of the run. Henry pretty much pulled me the entire time. I know he has a much easier time running with me when I'm beside him but I spent a lot of the run tucked in behind him because my legs just didn't feel like they could go any faster. It was rough. But whatever, we got it done.

Today's AM Workout: CMSC practice, IM day
Summary:

• WU: 400 swim, 3 x 100 swim
• Main Set: I have no idea what any of the pace times were, I was just going last and leaving 5 off the person in front of me...
• 4 x 150 @ base + :10/:15, 100 fly/50 back, 100 back/50 breast, 100 breast/50 free, 100 free/50 fly
• 4 x 100 @ base + :10/:15, 50 build stroke/50 recovery choice
• 4 x 50 @ base + :10, 15 underwater fast/35 recovery choice
• (break)
• 4 x 150 rolling IM @ base + :10/:15 (pretty sure these were on the 2:50?)
• 4 x 100 @ base + :10/:15, 25 stroke FAST/25 recovery choice (pretty sure these were on the 1:50?)
• 4 x 50 @ base + :10, 35 moderate/15 sprint to the finish (pretty sure these were on the :55?)
• Did these 1-3 free as written, 4 easy b/c ran out of time lol
• Total Distance: 3100 LCM

Hit Rate: 19/24 (79.1%)

Swam a lane up today, was definitely the slowest in the lane and really hope I wasn't ticking my lane mates off by being too slow. They seemed fine though, they left on whatever interval they were doing and for the most part I made all the pace times so I wasn't really holding people up I don't think. And I wasn't THAT much slower than the second slowest person in the lane lol. I'm gonna try to stick it out and see how things go with swimming in this lane. I don't even know what base pace they were using, but whatever it was, it worked for today.

I'm feeling stronger in the pool than I was expecting to. I mean long course fly is non-trivial but I managed to make an okay go of it. I had some pain in my right shoulder today but it's because my hand tends to deviate outwards on my freestyle catch, especially when I'm breathing to the left. If I'm careful about my freestyle form, my shoulder holds up fine, so I guess it's a good thing that it nags at me when I swim poorly. 

My legs are less sore today than they were yesterday for sure, but they're still keeping me up at night and they're definitely far from perfect. Gonna try and take that tempo run today, I feel pretty confident in my ability to at least hit the HM pace intervals, but less sure about those 10k pace intervals...just gotta remind myself that how I feel is probably not gonna be an accurate reflection of what my body is capable of and I just have to not freak out and focus on holding good form and get after it even if it seems way harder than it should be. Hopefully things will go alright. I'll report back in the PM.

Much love,

Jess

Easy run

[Day 142]

I think this may be the last workout I get in before I head to Boston. Things are getting real crazy with exam week stuff, so good luck me...Took an easy 6 miler today, ran with Brian, he was struggling a little bit (maybe b/c it was warm? maybe because it was early? idk) so we took it slow. He made it though, which is good and fairly impressive because he didn't sound like he was doing too hot. I also honestly wasn't feeling great the first 3-4 miles, but things settled down for me in the last 2 and they felt real smooth and real easy, so I don't really know what the deal was with that either. In any case, here are the deets.

Today's Workout: Easy 6 miler
Summary: 6.13 mi, 59:41, 9:44 pace, 175 spm average, not gonna worry about the splits today b/c it's late and they don't really matter lol
Hit Rate: 14/16 (87.5%) - this is about to plummet...loooool

Beeeeed time. Happy Saturday! (:

Much love,
Jess

What is training fasted...

[Day 140]

It's been the first time in a while that I've literally gotten up, thrown clothes on, and went for a workout. When it was routine, it never felt as good as a fed afternoon workout, but it didn't feel terrible either. Now that it's not so routine, my body was rebelling against me as hard as it could this morning. I swear I was half asleep the entire run. Everything felt hard, my legs didn't feel like turning over, it was short and slow yet somehow still real rough. Glad I got out and did it though, another full day of just sitting around studying would've probably killed me. (My schedule didn't allow for an afternoon run break so I opted to just get something short in in the morning before things picked up for the day. Case in point: I'm writing this from lab at 9:30 pm. Yeah it's been one of those days.)

Today's Workout: AM easy run
Summary: 4.58 mi, 43:29, 9:30 pace, 174 spm average
Pace splits by mile: 9:26, 9:42, 9:35, 9:34, 8:56
Hit Rate: 12/14 (85.7%)

Officially speaking I think I'm gonna try and get that interval run in tomorrow afternoon. I also have a lot of studying to do though and some errands to run and I have to cook for lunch which may turn out to be a major time suck...we'll see how productive I am and play it by ear. If I don't have time or the mental energy for something hard and heavy, I'll just take another easy to moderate 4-6 miles and live with that because I'm in med school and exams are a thing and what are you gonna do right?

Gonna head home and do core work and stretch and hit the sack now. Happy Thursday! (:

Much love,
Jess

Rainy days

[Day 138]

Today's Workout: PM easy run
Summary: 4.90 mi, 46:40, 9:31 pace, 173 spm average
Pace splits by mile: 9:31, 9:38, 9:23, 9:37, 9:25
Hit Rate: 11/12 (91.6%)

Ran with Brian in the rain today. Took the bike path so we were a little short of 5 miles but whatever. Interval run on the schedule for tomorrow.

Much love,
Jess

Falling short

[Day 133]

I had a rough night last night, had a late start this morning, had to cut my run short so I could still make it to small group/lab. Disappointed that I wasn't on top of my sleep schedule, disappointed that I didn't suck it up and get up early enough to get my entire run in anyways, just generally disappointed with myself.

Today's Workout: AM easy run, 4 mi (planned 5 mi)
Summary: 4.05 mi, 39:31, 9:45 pace, 178 spm
Pace splits by mile: 10:23, 9:55, 9:23, 9:25
Hit rate: 7/7 (100%) - I honestly don't even feel good about giving myself credit for this run but I know that dropping a mile on an easy day isn't actually as atrocious of an offense as it feels like to me...

Notes/thoughts:

• That mile that I dropped this morning is probably going to haunt me for a while, especially if I fall short of my goals/expectations this summer. I'm not good at letting things like this go. It's probably a terrible trait of mine, but I can't help it. Cutting things short or not giving all the effort I want to give just doesn't sit well with me. I can't help it. 
• I started out real slow but was surprised that after about15-20 minutes my legs seemed to get into it and I actually felt real strong and smooth on the way home. It reminds me of in-season swimming. I need insanely long warm ups to get my body into it but it will perform if I give it time to warm up. Apparently this may be a thing that holds true for the running as well.
• Freaking out about tomorrow. The run is gonna be long and tough and ends on some real fast running and I just don't know what to expect of myself and the level of effort it'll take to hit all the paces right. And the thing is, I really don't think I can mentally take another disappointing day. I need a good day, I really need a good day, but I have to make those good days with my own two hands (or I guess legs in this case) and the pressure feels really crazy sometimes. I don't know if I can do it, but I know I have to try and I know that if I try and I fall short, Friday night will be a long one and I don't want that. Pressure pressure pressure.

Have a good Thursday folks (:

Much love,

Jess

EM II exam today help

[Day 131]

Today's Workout: AM easy run
Summary: 4.56 mi, 43:18, 9:29 pace average, 177 spm average
Pace splits by mile: 9:40, 9:43, 9:32, 9:23, 8:54
Hit Rate: 5/5 (100%)

Definitely feeling a little bit of residual fatigue from yesterday but nothing horrible. Freaked out about having to run fast tomorrow as always but I'm sure it'll be fine. It was drizzling a bit today and there was some lightning, which kind of freaked me out because EM II has made me really scared about getting struck by lightning. Evidently I didn't actually get struck by lightning, so it's all good lol. So much studying to do today. Interval workout tomorrow! Happy Tuesday folks!

Much love,
Jess

Recovery recovery

[Day 125B]

Took an easy run in the middle of the day today. Partially to clear my head, partially to see how the body is doing post-race. I took two full days off, which I don't always do before my first post-race test drive, and I think it was a good call. I felt pretty good on the run and stronger as the run went on which is always nice. I also haven't collapsed in the hours since (which happens to me sometimes, even when the workout itself feels good), so I think I can genuinely say that my body is doing well. That's good because I'm gonna jump right into 10k training starting this Friday and I wanted to know that my body would be ready for it. We'll see how the harder workouts go later this week. Here are the deets:

Today's Workout: Easy run, 4 mi
Summary: 4.21 mi, 39:52, 9:28 average pace, 176 spm average
Pace splits by mile: 9:45, 9:46, 9:29, 9:03, 8:39
Running Hit Rate: 1/1 (100%)
Overall Hit Rate: 1/1 (100%)

You will notice that I'm resetting the hit rates for the summer block! I want to really focus on improving my running between now and the BAA 10k at the end of June, so I'm making a run workout specific hit rate to track how I'm doing on the running specifically. I will probably let the overall hit rate carry over all the way until August when I do the Chicago Triathlon. Yay!

Another day off tomorrow and then we get back to work starting Friday! Alright, back to studying now. (:

Much love,
Jess

Wings drop game one of the playoffs ):

[Day 104]

Today's Workout: AM easy run
Summary: 7.07 mi, 1:08:43, 9:43 pace, 176 spm
Pace splits by mile: 9:31, 9:47, 9:48, 10:01, 9:32, 9:46, 9:36
Hit rate: 102/112 (91%)

No words tonight, it's late and I need to get to bed. Happy hump day!

Much love,
Jess

Honesty is the best policy

[Day 67B]

Long post. All the personal messiness. Brace yourselves.

So I think I got carried away. I'm really ambitious. I want to be the absolute best that I can be and I work off the assumption that in the long run I am limitless. I allow myself to believe that because I think it's the only way you ever find out exactly where your limits are. If you pre-define your limits without really searching the space, you'll never figure it out for real. But the other half of that story is that it makes me prone to (a) thinking I'm way more capable than I actually am and (b) me beating myself up a lot when it turns out that that isn't true or (c) me not being willing to admit that (a) is true and beating myself up over some character flaw or another (usually it's related to lack of discipline and focus and an inability to actually work hard enough). I got carried away. Sometimes I want to be better so badly that it makes me a little bit blind.

Henry suggested this morning that I take my run this afternoon with my watch face blank. No pace/distance/cadence/whatever numbers, keep it on to track stats for afterwards but just run however I wanted to run. I had told him that I was upset that there was no joy in the lift this morning. I'm usually so happy in the gym. I usually love the crazy way it feels to use your body at the limits of what it is capable of doing. It's amazing. And today it just wasn't amazing. I hit the heaviest deadlift reps I've ever hit (and if anyone is going to tell me that 145 is no weight, they can stop and shove it because it is for me and I'm really proud of it) and there was just no excitement about it. I don't want that. I don't do this because there's any inherent value in how much weight I can pick up off the ground and then immediately drop. I do it because it feels satisfying. I do it because it makes me happy. And today I wasn't happy and that was upsetting. (And you see what not being happy does to me - it makes me walk out in the middle of a workout because I'm actually really terrible at trying to do things that make me unhappy.) So Henry told me to just ditch the numbers and goals and things for a day and try to enjoy some nice weather (the weather is beautiful today) and find what makes me happy.

I was skeptical. I wasn't gonna do it. But when it came time for me to run this afternoon, I took his advice. I ran however my body told me was best (which was funny because I think it's still really blown from yesterday - I felt like a baby deer learning how to walk, I just felt so unsteady and clumsy on my feet today) and just let myself enjoy the process. I forgave myself for being not as fast as I want to be and I got to think a lot about everything that's been going on. There was a lot to those thoughts. Summary first, then we'll talk.

Today's PM Workout: Easy base run, 7 mi
Summary: 7.02 mi, 1:09:48, 9:56 pace, 170 spm cadence
Pace splits by mile: 9:34, 9:56, 10:09, 10:08, 10:10, 10:00, 9:39
Hit Rate: 71/78 (91.0%)

Notes/thoughts:

• Title notes: What I mean by "honesty is the best policy" is that I need to listen to my body more, like I did today. One of the things I thought about on the run was the fact that these past two months have been the most consistent block of training that I've gotten in since junior year of college (when I strung together about 2 or 3 months of pretty great swim training that was sort of stalled by a lot of binge drinking). The last time I had been training this consistently was high school. The volume is new, my body is adapting to it, it goes through waves of feeling good and feeling bad and the process isn't linear. I haven't been wanting to listen to my body, but it's seen a few big workouts this past week (three 2+ hour workouts, two of which were bricks with fairly fast runs coming off the bike and one of which was the longest run I've taken all year) and it can't just keep pounding on like that forever. I am tired, it's forgivable, I need to listen and be willing to go slow on days like today so I can give myself opportunities to have more big days (and not just any big days but productive big days that realistically aid in building my fitness and aren't likely to get me overworked and injured).
• Outside of just having to listen to my body, I think I need to come back around to being comfortable with what training on accumulated fatigue means. We swam a lot in high school. You were always slow at practice. It was okay because we deloaded before the big meet and BAM magic speed came out of nowhere. That's how endurance training works. I have to get comfortable with not seeing the kind of numbers in runs and bikes that I expect to see race day. The fact of the matter is that I will likely not be seeing those kinds of numbers until race day, when I will likely very pleasantly surprise myself. 
• The caveat to the above thought: It doesn't matter if I don't pleasantly surprise myself. Races are fun because you never know what might come of them. You don't control conditions, you don't control the course, you control what you do to prepare and the rest is up to fate. You can be as fit as can be and some days the tide swings in your favour and some days it doesn't. That's okay. As much as I'm expecting the work to pay off with gains on race day, I can't demand that. It either will be or it won't be and I have to be accepting of that either way. 
• Another interesting thought to that end: Sometimes I find myself wanting to say things to the effect of "but I worked hard so I deserve this". I have to be better about not feeling entitled to progress just because I did something. Plenty of people do things. There's more to progressing than just working or just working harder and there are so many variables that you're never going to have it all figured out. Putting in the work is a requisite part of the process, but that in no way entitles you to progress. I believe that if you put in work consistently enough for a long enough time, progress will eventually come. But that doesn't mean I can demand progress just because I've been working. I have to be better about remembering that fact. 
• One of the things I think I've said on this blog before is that I need to start where I am, and not where I want to be. I've been jealous of how much success my friends have been having in training. I've been jealous of boys and their naturally high testosterone levels (and probably generally greater athleticism when compared to me outside of that) and girls with talent I could never even fathom. I want to be that good. I'm not. And you can't fake it. You can't just "try harder" and be there. I'm not on that level. I know that. I would like to work towards that. But I have to start where I am, not where I want to be. 
• Which brings me to another point: Patience. A lot of the things above relate to me being impatient. I've been working for a few months and I want to see that turn around in fitness and it hasn't been a crazy drastic thing like I want it to be. But if I look back a year in the past, there are definitely lots of bits of progress I can see. Sure, my run paces are pretty comparable and haven't budged much (if anything I might be a little slower on average right now) and my swimming is pretty much in the same place, but the average volume I'm sustaining week after week is way higher, the amount that I can comfortably do on the bike now has increased by a ton, and my comfort with longer workouts (runs, bricks, whatever) has increased too. It takes time to get better. And not just a month or two of time, years and years of time. When I was a freshman in high school, my swim season was cut short by an ACL injury and one of my coaches had told me to not worry about being set back by that time out of the water because swimming was a sport of "accumulation". (He had used the Chinese term "积累".) The whole idea is that I didn't get good at swimming in a few weeks. We built base and technical skill and speed and strength and power over years and years. I wasn't going to lose the years in a few weeks. I'd be rusty when I got back, but those years would still be there, I would just have to work on dusting them off to get back to where I wanted to be. But that's the thing, I had to put those years in first to get that base. I'm sure the same thing goes for what I'm doing here and now with triathlon. I'm only a year and a half into it, I have so much to learn and so much to improve on, and it's going to be a process of accumulating miles and experience so I have that foundation. The progress doesn't come overnight. I need to be more patient. 
• The other issue that came up in my conversations with Henry is that sometimes I have no confidence in the training I'm doing. Which is stupid. I know what I'm doing for the most part with the plan. The plan is the way it is for a reason. The funny thing is, that reason is probably why I worry about it. I didn't really build the plan to be the perfect triathlon training plan. I really built the plan to try and balance gaining fitness for racing with doing things that I enjoyed. Sometimes I enjoy being challenged so I throw in hard days. Sometimes I enjoy just going easy and slow so I throw those days in too. There's really not a fantastic reason for me to be lifting the way I do, and frankly there's not a ton of reason behind how I lift, but I do it because it's fun and I love it and it makes my life better. (And I'm pretty sure it makes me just more fit in general, and even if that doesn't directly make me a better triathlete, it probably doesn't hurt right? Outside of lost opportunity cost. Which I'll take in terms of the happiness I get out of it in return.) There's probably no reason at all for me to be going to sprint freestyle days, but those are some of my favourite workouts so I keep going to them. Conversely I should probably go to more distance free days, but I don't like them as much so I sprinkle a few in there but I don't demand that I do that every single week. I was cognizant of balancing the things that made me happy with the things that made me better when I planned it. And all of a sudden when I started feeling pressure to improve faster, I started second guessing the planning and the values that drove how I planned. I need to stop doing that. I made this thing so that I could be happy doing it. It won't make me the absolute fastest I can possibly be, but it'll help me improve while helping me stay in love with these things that I do genuinely love. I need to have more faith in that, not just in terms of trusting that the plan will get me to where I want to go but also in terms of really believing in the value of my own happiness as a key part of the equation. 
• Related to bullet point above: I'm trying a CrossFit class on Saturday! If you read this blog, you know I've been following the open and it's just been super inspiring watching people of so many different skill and ability levels tackle these crazy workouts. I love trying stuff. I love doing things with my body. I love learning new physical skills and I've always wanted to learn to do the Olympic lifts and be better at pull ups. But CrossFit has always felt like the wrong thing no matter how much I loved watching it. It's just such a crazy mix of high intensity and high volume work and I'm training for an endurance sport and if anything it'll just get me injured right? Well I've been actually thinking about that the past few days now that I've gotten myself into the messy situation of planning to actually trying it out because what if I like it? What then? I mean it's super easy if I don't like it, wipe my hands clean of that and move on, but it's been interesting to think about what might happen if I do like it. And on the run today, after all the thoughts above, one of the things I realized is this: It's like everything else, you figure out how to do the things you enjoy. You give them a chance, you work them into your schedule, you adapt, you accept that everything comes with a sacrifice. Training inevitably means my schoolwork quality suffers. Not to the point that I want to give up training altogether, but it's something I have to accept. Conversely, sometimes I have to focus on school and inevitably training suffers. But again, those are my priorities on those days and it's something I have to accept. If it turns out there's another thing in the world I want to give a spin and it'll encroach on all my sort of planned out triathlon specificity, well I guess we'll have to see if I like it enough to give up some of that. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but I'm a little less nervous about Saturday knowing that I've thought about what it could mean for some of the other things going on in my life. 
• Last thing: Effort. I feel like I almost constantly find myself telling myself that I should be working harder or trying harder or whatever. But honestly, that's not what anything is about. There is a certain level of effort you should give to everything. And when you have it in you to give more, you should. But you can't be full throttle 24/7 because no one actually has that capacity, and me sitting around pretending that I do and beating myself up for it when it turns out that I can't actually do that helps literally no one. Not every day can be destructively awesome, it would kill you. Average days are good days too. I really have to try and believe the contents of this particular bullet point. This is a valuable and honest bullet point that I forget over and over and over again and it causes me a lot of misery sometimes. 

Soooooooo. Now that the full contents of my soul are laid out in a blog post, I think I can...heat up dinner and get some studying done now? Lol hope everyone had a good Monday. (:

Much love,

Jess

PS - Plan is AM swim for tomorrow, along with a tri team appeal for more Nationals/Wildflower funding in the evening. Fingers crossed that that goes well. Too bad the appeal meeting is late at night, will make getting up early to lift on Wednesday super rough. Original Wednesday morning plan had been to do some circuit work or something, but I'm gonna try and do a repeat of this morning's planned lift on Wednesday instead and hopefully actually get through the entire workout. There will also be a long trainer ride in the PM on Wednesday. But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. Just wish us luck for that appeal tomorrow!

Another day, another destiny

[Day 36]

Today's AM Workout: CSP practice, IM day (Kate coached today!)
Summary:

• WU: 
• 400 swim as 75 free/25 no free
• 6 x 50 alt. drill/swim by 25 @ :55
• odds free, evens reverse IMO
• Main set:
• 2 rounds of:
• 400 IM broken as 50 fly, 100 fly/back, 100 back/breast, 100 breast/free, 50 free w/ 10 SR each break
• (regroup)
• 2 x 200 free @ 3:00 (I did swim, some people did pull with paddles) 
• 100 IM MAX
• 50 easy
• 400 broken IM, same pattern as above, FAST
• 100 easy
• 8 x 50 kick @ 1:10 (I did the first one free and the rest fly, tried to come in under :50, with a board no fins)
• WD: 200 easy
• Total Distance: 3700 SCY

Hit Rate: 39/40 (97.5%)

Today's PM Workout: Easy run, still just focusing on strengthening that connective tissue and all

Summary: 6.19 mi, 1:03:57, 10:20 average pace

Pace splits by mile: 9:27, 10:33, 10:41, 10:35, 10:17, 10:25, 10:38

Hit Rate: 40/41 (97.5%)

I can't do the comments today. Let's just save it.

Much love,

Jess

A note to sad/tired/upset/frustrated/discouraged Jess

[Day 34B]

I've definitely written letters to myself on this page before, but I'm too lazy to go look up what those contents are so I'm starting fresh right here. Days like today are a big part of the reason I even keep this log: there were valuable things to be taken from this day and I want to be able to look back on this during the moments when I really need it. Disclaimer: this post is going to be long and possibly too touchy-feely, so if you're not about that, you can stop reading (all I did was run a boring slow 5 miler this afternoon, you're not missing out on anything I promise). But if you're curious about some of the things that go through my head on a good day, read on! (And if you're future-Jess, having a rough day for whatever reason, please be willing to really hear these words from past-Jess. They're important and they're honest and I want you to listen and believe and find your spark again.) Let's start with the recap:

Today's PM Workout: Easy run, 5 mi
Summary: 5.01 mi, 51:28, 10:16 average pace
Pace splits by mile: 9:46, 10:23, 10:21, 10:32, 10:19
Hit Rate: 37/38 (97.3%)

Run specific notes (and some random details about my day):

• It's been a long day. I started the day at 4:50 am, spent some time studying, hit up the pool, showered and dealt with emails, went grocery shopping, came home, ate lunch, studied some more, had my clinical mentoring session, immediately went out for a run, ate dinner, interviewed a (super impressive and lovely) Princeton applicant, and now I'm here. It's been a crazy day. As such...
• I was tired on the run, the kind of tired where even though I was running, my eyes kept trying to fall shut and stay shut. My body has also honestly felt a little bit off the past day or two, but that's not really my point. I was tired. 
• Given that I was tired, I ran based purely off of effort. I checked my watch, I knew how slow I was going, but the heart rate and the breathing told me I was in the right place so I just stuck with it. I'm definitely coming to terms with the fact that the next few weeks will be strictly easy (aka slow) running, just looking to build some base running fitness so my joints can handle the harder things to come (which may or may not involve speed work but will definitely involve brick work, so I have to strengthen everything up bit by bit and make sure they can handle that when the time comes). It's not super satisfying to do this kind of work, but like I was telling Helena yesterday when we were talking about her 5k plan, it's important to get the right kind of base at that easy/moderate effort before you go looking for more because it's the foundation of everything else that you do. You can't cheat the basics, so even though there's nothing glorious about them, I'm going to keep doing it and doing it right. 
• Cadence is still looking good, 172 spm average today, so I'm happy about that.
• It was cold. And windy. I'm just complaining. There's no real point to this bullet point.
• My knees felt good. While we're talking about joints, it's worth noting that my right elbow was giving me the business during my swim this morning and I bit the bullet and went and got a supplement to try and deal with that. (And a note about supplements: I do take multivitamins daily, along with usually half a dose of B100, and especially the past few weeks, the difference between the time blocks when I am good about supplementing and when I'm bad about supplementing are pretty stark. It makes a big difference to my energy levels so I figure it must have something to do with the repair stuff going on in my body. I have had a few different things for joint supplements in the past because I have a history of joint issues, I just went for an easy over the counter low dose glucosamine chondroitin complex that I'm taking at even lower doses than the maker recommends because in general my policy is the less supplementation I have to do the better. Better to get your nutrients from food than from a pill I figure. But it's helped in the past so I'm giving it a go to see if it makes a difference now.)

The mushy stuff:

• For when you are feeling discouraged: I am so insanely proud of myself and this day. I feel so incredibly blessed to be where I am and doing what I'm doing. I had a stretch of time in the afternoon after lunch and before my hospital session where I was exhausted and I knew I had to get studying in and the rest of my day seemed so daunting and I just sat at my carrel with a cup of coffee and wanted to cry about everything. But then I got to go into the hospital and practice my history and physical skills and found myself in an environment where I really feel like I thrive. I have a lot to learn and a long way to go before I'm good at all of these skills I have to master, but just getting to interact with patients is such a powerful reminder to me of what I get to spend the rest of my life doing. I get that wonderful sense that this is exactly where I belong, this is what I was born to do, not because I'm good at it necessarily but because it makes me come alive and I feel so lucky to have found that and to have the opportunity to work towards being the best that I can be at it. That was specifically hospital related, but honestly it applies to training too. I'm not a great athlete, but I don't feel like I was born to do this because I'm good at it, I feel like I was born to do this because it makes me come alive. I am so lucky to have the opportunity to work towards being better at these things that make me come alive on a daily basis. The work, the opportunity, that's the blessing. Don't ever forget that.
• On confidence/frustration/slow days/trust: If I had taken this run session yesterday morning, I would've been upset because it was so slow. It was almost 2 minutes a mile slower than my half marathon time, and it's only a 5 miler. But a lot of things happened between yesterday morning and right now. My whole conversation with Helena about why base training is important happened, my swim this morning which gave me such a huge confidence boost happened, and all of a sudden I find myself very comfortable with just doing the very mundane and non-glamorous work that is running slowly until I get my running groove back. It's the kind of thing that I would have been ashamed of in the past or gotten flustered and nervous over because it would make me feel like my running was terrible and was never going to get better and I didn't have any of that today because I had a kind of trust in the process that I think I've been lacking for a while. It's the inevitable reality of still feeling somewhat new to the sport and still learning what works and what doesn't and not knowing if I'm going to see the results that I want. But I'm starting to trust in the training a little bit more and I'm starting to let my ego go and it's helping me be okay with the reality that right now my only focus is on getting back into running without reaggravating any injuries. That's going to involve some very slow running and that's not something for me to be worried or ashamed or scared of. It's just another day in my schedule and it doesn't have to be any more emotionally loaded than that. 
• Let's talk about my relationship with food: I've been stressed out about food recently. If you know me, you know that's weird, I'm normally more of a "see food and just eat it" sort of person. But triathlon is annoying because it's gravity involving and therefore for the first time in my life my weight matters to me. In August the pounds honestly just sort of fell off my body, I didn't even know what was going on but I got super lean and it was kind of cool but also kind of disconcerting. I sort of thought the same thing would happen when I picked up with training this time around, but that's really not what's happened all of January, so I think I've been a bit flustered about that because I don't know the first thing about trying to drop a few pounds. I think it's made me really weird about food and that needs to stop. Pretty sure I'm tired because I've been slightly undernourished these past few days. Pretty sure I need to be better about controlling blood sugar swings by eating more frequently seeing as I can't eat very much in any single sitting. I need to be better about eating right after I workout. I need to be better about ensuring quality when I'm snacking because my body is definitely feeling the need for wholesome nourishment between real meals and I haven't been giving it any of that. I also need to relax about indulging, it's not going to kill anyone, but the stress is probably really bad for me. I'm gonna try to be a little bit more laid back about this, because honestly I think my body might think it's starving right now and I don't want it to think that. Trying to reframe the dialogue around food not in terms of quantity but in terms of quality. As long as I'm eating good quality food, I will let my body have its way in terms of quantity. It knows what it needs, I need to be better about listening.
• On a related note, body image: I had an awesome swim this morning, which can largely be credited to all the parts of my body that I can't stand (i.e. my arms and my lats). Like sure, they're sort of ridiculous looking, but they are also the reason that you get to fly in the water. I want you to think about any breakout off the start during any race ever. Is there anything that you wouldn't give up to have that feeling? Adhering to terrible and incredibly not meaningful beauty standards? Would give that up in a heartbeat. Just think about it.

That's all folks! Bedtime.

Much love,

Jess

The short and the long

[Day 31]

Today was a weird day. Lots of ups and downs. Objectively speaking a pretty good day as far as everything goes, but somehow I'm still sort of disappointed. I don't really know how or why. Maybe I'm just tired. Here's the story.

So I think I woke up a little bit off. I didn't get the best sleep last night because I was out with friends and had some wine and did things like eat way too many cookies, all just generally stuff I try to avoid. Sometimes I'm really jealous that other people get to do these things, but it also doesn't feel quite right when I'm doing them either, so I dunno. It didn't feel like my best moment. I had a lot of fun and I know that's valuable, but I really struggle with not seeing that as some kind of failure on my part. I need to be a little less uptight about everything. It's hard though to stick to this kind of routine unless you're willing to be really harsh with yourself and that isn't something I can turn selectively on and off to allow for some laid back social time. Still figuring it out.

In any case, I got to run in the morning with one of my teammates which was a huge blessing. We went short and easy, another step on the ease back into running with my knee. The knee largely felt good, a little bit of aching somewhere in mile 3 but nothing bad and it resolved before we finished so I was okay with that. We had a great conversation during the run, just sort of got caught up since it'd been a while since we saw each other, and we had smoothies afterwards and stretched and it was super nice. I think that really brightened up my whole day. We're also making plans to ride outside next weekend if the weather is nice, so I'm excited about that too.

Today's AM Workout: Easy run, 4ish miles
Summary: 4.20 mi, 40:33, 9:39 pace
Pace splits by mile: 9:55, 9:45, 9:35, 9:21, 9:35

Hit Rate: 32/33 (96.9%)

Only other note/thought I have about the run is that the cadence issues I was having before seem to be a non-issue right now. 171 average today, I'm chill with that.

The PM workout was rough. It was planned that way so I knew what I was signing up for. Everything about it was tough though, I think just from a mental standpoint, I had a really hard time knowing that the intervals were long and I was going to be upping the speed in x number of minutes and there were no real recoveries in the long main set and it made it hard for me to just focus on what I was doing in that moment because the weight of the whole rest of the set was hanging over my head. I'm also just genuinely not good at dealing with pain. Like when things get difficult aerobically, I feel like I have some capacity to deal with that, but when my legs are collecting lactate it's so tough for me to stay on track and that's something I'm really working to try and be better at. You'd think that as a backstroker burn in the legs would be right up my alley, but outside of that one specific context I actually really struggle with this. Anyways, here are the deets:

Today's PM Workout: Trainer ride, 120 mins, endurance work + some sprints to finish

Summary:

• WU: 10 mins easy 
• Pre-set: 5 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• Main Set: 5 rounds, the goal was to get them all done at base +1 gearing but it ended up being 3 rounds at base +1 and 2 rounds at base (would rather have hit the right cadences than try to be a hero)
• 5 mins low 80s rpm 
• 5 mins high 80s rpm 
• 5 mins 95 rpm 
• (no real rests) 
• 4 mins easy 
• Sprints: 2 x (6 x :45/:45 MAX sprints at base +1 over 100 rpm, 2 mins recovery) 
• WD: 5-6 mins easy
• Totals: 29.07 mi, 2:00:39, 14.5 mph average

Hit Rate: 33/34 (97%)

Notes/thoughts:

• Henry was pretty key to this entire thing even happening. Got a lot of support, was not allowed to quit before I finished, nagged me about staying in the right position, I need this in my life for every trainer ride lol.
• My butt really hurt today. More so than is typical...not sure if it was just because I was on the trainer for longer or what, but that sort of sucks. Need a new saddle, but don't really want to invest in one and also really don't have the time to go figure that stuff out. Maybe over the summer or something...
• Didn't quite hit the entire thing at the resistance I wanted, so it'll be another set to back pocket and try again later on in the process. 

I'm really tired. Lift in the books for tomorrow morning with a short 20 minute easy run tagged onto the end. Again, hoping the knee will hold out after strength work, will see how they respond to running while tired. Enjoy what's left of the weekend! (:

Much love,

Jess

The good and the bad

[Day 29]

The good was this morning's swim.

Today's AM Workout: CSP practice, IM day
Summary:

• WU: 400 free swim
• Pre-set: (all were done on flexible 3rd person rest, I gave pace time estimates instead of hard cut offs)
• 4 x 100 @ 1:50, 25 free/50 IMO kick/25 free
• 300 free pull w/ paddles
• 4 x 75 @ 1:20, 25 free/25 IMO drill/25 free
• 200 swim free
• 4 x 50 IMO @ :55
• Main Set: 
• 200 free @ 3:15
• 4 x 150 @ 2:45, 50 fly/50 back/50 breast
• (break)
• 200 free @ 3:10
• 4 x 100 IM @ 1:50
• (break)
• 200 free @ 3:05
• 4 x 75 @ 1:25-1:30, 25 fly/25 back/25 breast
• WD: 100 easy
• As written, the main set had another round of 200 free @ 3:00 and 4 x 50 IMO, but we ran out of time. I want to try this set again straight through (which was how it was written) and do it all and maybe bump up the pace times a bit.
• Total distance: 3800 SCY (4200 SCY as written)

Hit Rate: 30/31 (96.7%)

Notes/thoughts:

• It feels so good to be getting back into the groove. I would have preferred pace times to be a little quicker this morning, but I wanted to be fair to my lane and I knew I couldn't hit the fast lane pace times so I couldn't move up, so I've been committing myself to doing my absolute best with these pace times as they stand. It meant that today, I led (and felt really confident doing it, which is the first time I've felt that way about leading all year) and I attacked every single repeat because I knew I was going to get in with lots of time to rest before I attacked the next one. I can't be up there swimming the challenging pace times, so I'm going to challenge myself to execute every single repeat at my best effort regardless of the pace time.
• I will, however, probably find an opportunity to swim alone at some point and try to hit this workout again with some adjusted pace times and straight through. I really liked this set, so I'm going to put it back on the calendar probably sooner rather than later, just for kicks.

The bad was this afternoon's run.

Today's PM Workout: Easy 3ish mile run

Summary: 3.11 mi, 29:41, 9:32 pace

Pace splits by mile: 9:09, 9:44, 9:39

Hit Rate: 31/32 (96.8%)

Notes/thoughts:

• Okay it actually wasn't that bad because my knee felt fine! I mean the occasional twinge, but those were more likely isolated bad steps and I'm a little bit hyperaware of it all right now anyways because it's what I'm paying attention to.
• I did, however, have some back pain that's been creeping in the past day or two that actually made me feel really tight and uncomfortable while running today. Still have to work on that form and getting lean from the ankles instead of the hips. Also need to really have that be something I pay attention to during the day when it comes to how I sit and stand. I need to have my posture be minimally taxing on my back during my non-training time so it doesn't become an issue during training time.
• It was about the pace I wanted it to be but it felt really slow and sluggish. It wasn't hard in the physically taxing sense but it did feel hard. Like my steps just felt really heavy and I wasn't getting the same kind of reflexive bounce off the ground that I usually do (I usually feel pretty light when I run) and the cadence felt slow even though at 172 spm it's not as bad as it had been previously (I was really consciously trying to work on this because I know it helps with the knee issues). I also felt very locked into a single pace, not in the sense that my pace didn't vary as the run went on but more so in the sense that if I wanted to go faster or slower, I don't think I could have made those pace adjustments very easily. It's like I got stuck in that one gear, which is how I used to always feel about running but had made a lot of improvements on in the past year or so, so it sort of sucks to feel like I'm back where I started in that regard.
• In any case, I think all of that really adds up to feeling a little bit disappointed with the state of the running. I just feel like I'm very very very far from where I want to be and it's just not exciting to think that all I can really do in the next few weeks is do a lot of slow runs that will get me back up to running longer distances and help me build the right kind of aerobic fitness to try and tackle other things. And it really is like adding insult to injury when even a short and slow run doesn't feel good. There's work to be done. I just have to set the feelings aside for now and do the work. It pays off in the end, I know that, I can look to things like my swimming for reassurance that it does pay off in the end. I'm just impatient is all.

In other news, I'm going ice skating tonight! It's a sponsored event school is hosting and I'm really not one for turning down free ice skating in the park. Will have to stretch tonight and then tomorrow is a day off! Yay! Days off = so glorious. I'll do my weekly recap tomorrow. (:

Much love,

Jess

Patience

[Day 27A]

Took that test run this morning. Knee felt okay. It was a little bit sore honestly but it wasn't hurting in the IT band spot, was more diffuse anterior pain, which might just be residual stuff from Monday's ride and not too run specific? It wasn't bad enough that I felt like I had to stop, so I did the 20 minutes and just left it at that. I had been thinking about maybe taking a 20-30 minute row afterwards if my knee felt good, but it was super great so I thought I would just rest it seeing as it'll be getting some more action this afternoon when I take my trainer ride anyways. We'll see how it holds up as the day goes on, I'm making a trip to the grocery store today and that walk will probably tell me a lot about how things are going. Here's the summary:

Today's AM Workout: 20 minute easy treadmill run, testing the knee
Summary:

• 2% incline, 6.2 speed throughout
• Treadmill numbers: 2.10 mi, 20:36
• Garmin numbers: 2.19 mi, 20:09, 9:12 pace

Hit Rate: 27/28 (96.4%)

I honestly feel like I shouldn't even call that a workout, it was so so chill. But I know that if I don't count these workouts as legitimate workouts, I would get tempted to do too much too fast because I like to feel like I'm training, I don't like to feel like I'm rehabbing a poorly looked after joint. So I'm going to count them and legitimize them because it'll help me be patient with the process which will be good for me in the long run. The sad part of this I think is that this week is actually going to be strangely low volume since I'm planning on running again on Friday and both of these workouts are slash will be super short compared to my typical workouts and it was already a short week to begin with. The upside though is I got up at my usual time, finished super early, and go to shower and eat and head out to school and get some work done before my morning classes, which was really nice.

I pretty much spent my 20 treadmill minutes this morning thinking about the process going forward. I was really looking forward to doing more speed focused run training this year, since I got some of that in last October before my half and it made such a huge difference to my running. With the setback though, it looks like we'll be back to just focusing on getting the right kind of volume and building back up in a pretty purely aerobic sense to try and make sure I'm not taking on too much too fast. I'd rather play this a little safer and be a little slower than go all in and get hurt again. I tell myself that it'll be okay and I'll run slow this first half of the year and spend my month in Boston (when I'm away from my bike and the gym and will probably be swimming with CMSC there) trying to get back on the speed/strength/interval work bandwagon. If I can stay healthy that long, that'll be the plan. I just have to be patient. There's no cheating the process when it comes to building up the right kind of base.

Time for class now! I'll be back with the afternoon trainer update later in the day. (:

Much love,
Jess

"Your fight to overcome defeat has set the skies alight for me"

[Day 11]

Go look up the song, it's awesome, came on at a pretty pivotal moment in my very boring treadmill run today and pretty much saved it. When I took yoga lessons back at Gratitude in Princeton, one of the things my favourite instructor would have us do was dedicate our practice to someone at the beginning of each class. That was my favourite part, giving the practice up as an offering to someone important to me. Henry (who probably makes up my blog's entire audience) has been through a lot this past year to try and help me live my dreams and I won't get into the details of it but that line and this person are a huge inspiration to me. I can overcome some boredom and tired lungs for that.

Today's Workout: AM lift + easy steady state treadmill run
Summary:

• Back squats: WU 12 @ 65 lbs, 3 x 8 @ 95 lbs
• Flat bench: WU 12 @ 45 lbs, went for 3 x 10 @ 75 lbs but set 3 ended up being a 4/3 split to failure so I dropped down and just did another 10 @ 65 lbs. (Yes, I dropped the bar on myself twice. In one set. I'm impressed too.)
• Deadlifts: 3 x 8 @ 115 lbs
• Pulldowns: alternating wide/narrow grip @ 6 plates, 4 x 12/12/12/8-4
• Giant set: 3 x
• Box jumps: 12
• Push presses: 12 @ 45 lbs
• Bent over BB rows: 12 @ 45 lbs
• Treadmill run: 
• Treadmill numbers: 2.71 mi, 26:39
• Garmin numbers: 2.64 mi, 25:08, 9:30 pace
• Superset: 4 x 
• Resistance band fly pulls: 25
• Band squats: 20 (bodyweight)

Hit Rate: 10/10 (100%) <- okay this is blowing my mind, I'm usually down a workout and clawing my way back by like day 4, how are we off to such a good start this cycle?

Notes/thoughts:

• Squatting: Um was planning on going 3 x 12 @ 85 lbs with a double drop at the end (which is my usual set but on more weight) and then changed my mind and went for less volume because I woke up with my back a little wonky (probs from just poor riding position on some of the harder efforts last night, really gotta work on that) and I wanted to save my back because I wanted to up the deadlift weight today so...that was a thing. A 3 x 8 is normally pretty comfortable, I'm still learning to keep my back safe on those last reps, but nothing felt too off which was nice. My legs also just feel way better today in general in comparison to last week, so that was nice.
• Apparently I can't go an entire gym day without dropping something on myself? Today was weird though because honestly both times it felt so out of nowhere. And once that bar is sitting on my chest it's staying there. I know some people can take a moment and pick it back up, I can't. And 75 lbs is just at the point where I really don't enjoy rolling the bar off of me, so uh, that sort of sucked.
• Deadlifting: 115 lbs was the weight I hurt myself at, except I was doing 12 reps and like really not thinking about putting the bar down in a reasonable manner, which was really my problem. I can usually lift safe, but I drop into that natural curve in my back if I don't focus on it on the way down and that's not good. So opting for fewer reps, working on being gentle with the bar on the way down, probably gonna hold it at this weight until 3 x 10 is comfortable and then try to go up to the big plates and play around with set and rep counts. Honestly don't know that I'll make enough progress in the next three months for that to be a real thing, but we'll see. A girl can dream right?
• Bent over BB rows: went conservative with the weight today because of that whole back thing (first time I've done this in a while without it causing me any pain). I should really like use more weight on these? But at the same time they don't have marked barbells at my gym and I don't know how much weight the little ones are (I lifted with the Olympic bars today) so I don't really know how to set them up and I feel bad occupying two Olympic bars (not that there are enough people at the gym at the hour that I go for it to matter, but still) so idk. We'll see...
• There were a lot of people on the treadmills when I went over for my short run so I had to use one of the small ones today. It's actually a pretty comfortable treadmill, I didn't mind it so much for an easy run, although the display is low which would be annoying for interval work. The run was boring but fine. Interestingly enough, my Garmin numbers line up much better with this treadmill than with the big one. The pace felt harder than what I'm used to for the 6.0-6.5 mph range as well which makes me wonder if the two types of treadmills are calibrated differently. Unclear. All it makes me think though is I have to be consistent about using one or the other for pace based workouts otherwise things could get real wonky. 
• Biggest factor in the run not sucking today though was the fact that my legs weren't blown. By this point in the day last Monday I was really hurting and I felt pretty good today, which made a pretty huge difference.
• Benedict (a high school teammate of mine) would be proud of me and my resistance band life. I was doing them today and reminiscing about him trying to talk me into doing resistance band work with him because my fly sucked and I honestly just needed to be stronger and me vehemently resisting every time. I may not be doing sets of 100 the way we did in club swim dryland in college, but at least I'm doing them now?

I feel so good! I mean the arms are starting to settle in, I am starting to feel that, but honestly I was wrecked after last Monday and I feel pretty good today so that bodes well. Fingers crossed that the feeling good continues into tomorrow, because that'll set me up for a pretty kick ass week. (I'm also skiing over the upcoming long weekend, so keeping my legs in a good place is going to be super key for that.) The plan tomorrow is a swim in the morning and a trainer ride in the evening. It's a little unfortunate that I'm front-loading the riding this week and back-loading the running but you gotta do what you gotta do to make the schedule work right? Hopefully the temperature comes up by tomorrow morning because riding out to and back from the pool in -8 C won't be very nice (especially once my hair is wet)...Alright time for some immunology! (And a haircut? I need to go get a haircut...)

Much love,

Jess

Some days the the sun's hard to face

[Day 5]

Props if you know the song reference. I'm exhausted, I technically have comments on today but honestly the best that I can do today is just tell you what I did. So here it is.

Today's AM Workout: CSP practice, mid-distance free day (bike commute, 45-60 mins)
Summary:

• WU: 200, 300, 300 swim (as written was 3 x 300, but we had counting issues) 
• Pre-set: 8 x 50 free @ :50 relaxed 
• Main Set: 
• 4 x 100 free @ 1:35 as 25 moderate/50 strong/25 recovery 
• 4 x 200 free @ 3:10 as 25 moderate/50 strong/25 recovery 
• 3 x 100 kick w/ fins choice @ 1:30 as all easy except 3rd 25 fast 
• 50 easy 
• 400, 350, 400 free as 1st one fast, 2nd one moderate, 3rd one recovery (as written as 3 x 400 but again, we had some counting issues) 
• WD: Basically the last 400 of the main set… 
• Total Distance: 3900 SCY

Hit Rate: 3/3 (100%)

Today's PM Workout: Easy run (w/ Tsehay)

Summary: 4.01 mi, 37:56, 9:27 pace

Pace splits by mile: 9:17, 9:41, 9:26, 9:26

Hit Rate: 4/4 (100%)

Brief list of things I have to say: 

• I'm really sore today.
• The set intervals being easy during morning practice was super key.
• I left my old goggles in China (I think...?) so I got to break open new goggles, which was pretty fantastic.
• My hair froze on my bike ride back. Getting in the hot shower and thawing that out afterwards was nice. 
• Things jetlag are good for: I got to eat breakfast before morning practice. 
• I need warmer socks for that commuting ride. 
• I'm really proud of myself for going running despite feeling pretty horrible. I'm also pretty happy with the pace given how horrible I felt. Running with a buddy makes everything better.
• The cadence on the run was too low (166 spm average), probably because I'm sore which makes the turnover poor, but bringing up that cadence is something I'll have to keep in mind this month as I'm running. 
• I swam, biked, and ran today, which is sort of cool (even though the bike was a commute and not actual training).

I had a lift planned for tomorrow which probably won't be happening. My body needs time to recover, the jetlag means my sleep has been horrible and I need to rest or I'll just be breaking myself down. I'll probably do some yoga/stretching/mobility work and a full core workout in the morning instead. Okay, back to studying physiology now. 

Much love,

Jess

Taper taper taper taper taper

I love taper! So I took a swim last night (and then picked up the bike I'll be commuting with! It's a used bike I bought off of a tri team teammate) and a short easy run this morning. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have the most supportive fiance in the universe when it comes to supporting my training. He's currently in Florida on business right now but we Skyped a bit before I left for my evening swim and he gave me a great pep talk and made me promise to think back to that conversation when things got tough in the swim and it really helped me pull through during the set.

I'm not very happy with where my swimming has been recently. I think the combination of long course practice and injuries has left me very willing to be not aggressive about the training and I can feel the changes and slips in my technique that are making me very slow even when I try to go fast. I went on pretty conservative easy pace times for this workout and I was still feeling like the interval was pretty hard, so I really need to change that. I need to make more of an effort to inject serious speed into my workouts (read: more lactate threshold work, more short short sprints) and commit to some of the pain that comes with fast 200 sets as well. The balance and thoughtfulness has been sort of missing from my training, so I know that's something I'll need to work on in the winter to get back to where I want to be. But I sort of let it go because it's taper. The practice was a bit shorter distance wise, a bit boring set wise, but I went in there and did what I had to do so I'm good with it.

Yesterday's PM Workout: Rec swim @ the Danforth AC.
Summary:

• WU: 1000 SKIPS
• Main Set:
• 3 x 200 free @ 3:00
• 4 x 100 IM @ 1:45
• 3 x 200 free @ 3:00
• 4 x 100 IM @ 1:45
• WD: 200 choice easy
• Total Distance: 3200 SCY

Hit Rate: 60/66 (90.9%)

This morning I took an easy recovery run. It was outrageously slow, but I guess that's what easy recovery runs are supposed to look like. It was raining and dark out because the sun keeps rising later and later, but I'm glad I got out there and did what I had to do.

Today's AM Workout: Easy run
Summary: 3.28 mi, 33:21, 10:10 pace.
Hit Rate: 61/67 (91%)

Tomorrow is going to be a nice full day off, I'm trying to really focus as much as I can on getting schoolwork dealt with while I sort of have time for it. It's going to be a crazy couple of weeks with racing taking up most of my weekends, so I need to be as efficient as I possibly can. Random updates:

• Brian is lending me a team tri suit to race in if I want to use it. I haven't decided if I'm going to yet because I'm afraid of swim related drag, but the thought of having a chamois is also nice, so...tbd.
• I need to go to Big Shark tonight to pick up gels and some random things for this commuting bike.
• I just spent like 2 hours chilling with my old lab mates and it was totally unplanned and definitely cut a solid chunk out of my day (time I really should have spent working...) but it was also really relaxing and definitely something I needed to help get me through. Remembering that you can't just hammer all the time, both when it comes to training and life in general. The recovery is just as important.

Yay that's all I have for today. Looking forward to the rest tomorrow and a final tune up ride or run on Friday morning before we roll out for Innsbrook! So pumped (:

Much love,

Jess

Recovery Updates

I didn't train Monday or Tuesday due to a combination of needing post-race rest and some mild period-related anemia that mom totally predicted and I totally scoffed at even though she was in fact right. I took a run this morning that was very short and very slow because apparently there's still a ton of residual fatigue in my legs. I figured the best thing was just to be active for about 30 minutes and not push anything too hard and come back tomorrow and see how things go from there.

Today's Workout: Easy recovery run
Summary: 3.18 mi, 33:33, 10:33 pace.
Pace splits by mile: 10:34, 10:39, 10:30, 10:14.
Hit rate: 19/21 (90.5%)

Hopefully I will be able to get some kind of trainer ride in tomorrow or maybe a run or some form of physical activity in and out of the madness that is a travel day, but we'll see.

In other news, I officially registered for both USAT Club Nationals (sprint distance) and the Cyman Triathlon (Olympic distance) yesterday so now I'm really in triathlon prep mode and am excited to getting back to working on my swimming and cycling! (Not to mention starting school!) It'll be an adventure. Stay tuned! (:

Much love,
Jess

Priorities

Last night and today were much needed reminders that as much as I love racing and training and I try to hold myself to high standards when it comes to these things (and by high standards I mean standards in terms of commitment and effort, not so much performance), the real priorities in my life are not racing and training. It's the summer so I don't have school commitments, but I do have a family and a lover and these people in my life are my priority. And when school starts, school will be another priority. Henry and I had a rough night in a lot of ways last night. I sort of picked a fight with him and he's been going through a rough patch and in the end I think we both needed to just spend some time together, even if it was over the internet, being there to support the other. It meant I didn't get to bed until close to 2 AM. And I had promised Coen a trip to Adventure Bay today, so I had to be mentally present for him. Henry said something that was really important to me last night about this: Being there for my family right now is worth losing 5 or 10 minutes on my race finish time. And he's right. Competing and training is a really selfish thing in a lot of ways because it is such an egocentric activity and takes a lot away from what I can do with my time/energy outside of that. It's important to remember that this isn't the most important part of my life: I've got a lot of other things to prioritize above my training and performance.

So I had actually consented myself to the fact that today was probably going to be a missed workout day, but found some time in the morning to squeeze in a very short easy run. I had a base 4-6 miler planned, but seeing as I was slightly sleep deprived and somewhat stressed and exhausted, I decided to cut myself some slack and just run an easy recovery 5k. It was a nice relaxed way to decompress in the morning before my day got started and I feel very lucky to have been able to get a run in today, however short and slow.

Today's Workout: Easy recovery 5 km.
Summary: 3.15 mi, 34:56, 11:05 pace.
Pace splits by mile: 10:55, 11:03, 11:16, 11:09.
Hit rate: 13/15 (86.7%)

On top of that, today was a fairly active day. Coen and I spent 10 AM to 1:30ish PM at Adventure Bay (climbing stairs for the water slides was pretty rough on my evidently still exhausted legs - may have to adjust training load next week to make sure I'm properly rested before the race). I came home and took a short nap in the afternoon and then spent some time playing one-on-one basketball with Coen in the evening. (He's always beating me at basketball. The scores are close, but it's sort of embarrassing seeing as I'm way taller and way older than him.) It was the right call to keep things short and easy today, glad I made the adjustments as necessary.

I had a long run (10-12 miles) planned for tomorrow, but Coen and I are being taken to a classic car show in the county during the day so I don't know if I'll have the time or energy for it. I might take the day off instead and re-adjust my training plan so I take the long run on Monday and possibly an extra rest day sometime during the week. We'll see how my body is feeling. I think being fresh for the Sunday race is the priority, so I'll do what I have to do to get there.

In other news, I've been taking a look at what I would like to go and the paces are really aggressive and intimidating. I have no baseline to compare this experience to because I wasn't tracking my training very accurately in the lead up to my first and only half marathon (the Philly Half Marathon from the Philly Marathon Weekend; 1:55:37 finish time on a fairly flat course) and I know I took the race out too fast but I also have no sense for how much faster than my usual training pace it was. My goal (ideally) is to go faster than I did in Philly, especially since the Windsor course is way flatter, but I very rarely am able to hit that kind of pace in training. Ideally, I'd like to be under 1:50, but an 8:22-8:23 average pace sounds ridiculous to me. I will stick with the plan of starting out at 9:00 pace and hopefully dropping that down as time goes on, which should at least get me to my old finish time, but we'll see how I'm feeling when I'm (hopefully) rested on race day. I also hope that the smaller scale of the event doesn't cut back too much on the intensity that I'm able to summon up. I know that the size of the crowd and the event was a huge motivator for me throughout the Philly Half, and I don't know that I'll be able to repeat that kind of performance without the energy of that kind of crowd. A lot of factors go into race results, I know that already, so I just have to be prepared to face the music when it happens I guess.

Much love,
Jess

Recovery run/day!

Today's Workout: Easy recovery run, 3-5 mi.
Summary: 4.30 mi, 41:01, 9:33 pace.
Split paces by mile: 9:25, 9:35, 9:38, 9:37, 9:11.
Hit rate: 11/13 (84.6%)

I did the thing! I stayed in the right pace range, I stayed in the right distance range, I took some time to stretch at the rink after my run, I am feeling good and awesome and on track to hopefully rip out a very high quality run tomorrow morning. The only thing that might possibly be getting in the way of that is the fact that I have to stay up tonight in order to speak to Henry briefly when he gets home, so I might be slightly sleep deprived on my run tomorrow morning...We'll see how that goes. I'll also be fasted. Which could either be a plus or be terrible. I will probably take a few Shot Bloks before I head out, and hopefully that will keep me well loaded. Wish me luck!

Much love,
Jess