And there goes the dropped ball, but it's okay

[Day 139]

I go to med school. Sometimes I think I can suck it up and be exhausted and get on fine doing what I do but that's just not true. Opted to nap in the pm today because I was entirely non-functional. Chose to focus the rest of my time on school work rather than on squeezing in a workout. It was the right call. It's nice to not be training super seriously for something and have the ability to just axe workouts when I have to prioritize other stuff. I spent a lot of the past few months feeling torn between all of these different things that I wanted to accomplish. It's nice to have a single clear priority that I can put above other things and not constantly feel so conflicted about. Gonna try and run in the AM tomorrow if I can. No promises lol.

I'm tempted to drop the hit rate count because I know it's not gonna look good, but I'm also really curious about what the hit rate will turn out to be if I continue tracking it and choose to just live my life instead of constantly trying to work my life around training. I think it'll be an informative number honestly so I'm going to keep tracking it, even though I think there's a chance it might make me feel a little bad. The knowledge is worth that risk. Besides, I finished that last training block on a stellar 91.6% while still managing to do med school, so I'm allowed to drop the ball however much I want now. xD

Hit Rate: 11/13 (84.6%)

Send me good vibes for a good studying day tomorrow, I'm really needing it for the upcoming exam week. (:

Much love,
Jess

PS - Still going strong on that daily core/stretching! So proud! (:

A little mix of disappointment

[Day 69A]

But also a little bit of faith. I skipped another workout this morning. Missed another blog post yesterday. I had time to do the blog post in the evening, I was just tired and used that time to veg out on the internet instead. That was on me. I missed the workout because I was at the tri team appeal last night and didn't get home until after 11 pm. The 4:30 am or even 5:00 am wake up wasn't going to happen. I actually did wake up at around 5:15 am and thought about doing what I had done Monday and just sucking it up and going anyways, but I only have two workouts in bold on my calendar this week (meaning they were planned as key sessions) and those are today's trainer ride in the PM (because my only other rides are outdoor moderate rides as the first half of brick sessions on the weekends) and Friday's long run. I knew that the combination of the physical work on my legs from the gym session and the inevitable afternoon crash from not having enough sleep would have inevitably cut into the quality of my trainer ride this afternoon, and I wanted to prioritize that (as well as my health and sanity, which sometimes requires that I get enough sleep). So I slept a little extra.

It's a bummer because it means my only gym session this week was a poor showing on Monday, and I don't like to leave things like that. But at the end of the day, I also know that's not my priority right now and that's okay. This is where the faith comes in: it puts a bit of pressure on to nail the trainer ride this afternoon (and hopefully not crash in the afternoon? Although even with the extra sleep I definitely didn't get enough sleep lol). But that's how these things tend to go isn't it?

Anyways, to make up for missing yesterday, here was the swim:

Yesterday's Workout: CSP Practice, mid-distance free day
Summary:

• WU: 2 x 300 swim, last 25 kick
• Main Set:
• 4 x 250 free @ 3:40-3:45, as 200 mod/50 faster, broken at the 200 for 5
• 4 x 50 free @ :45
• 4 x 200 free @ 3:15, as 150 mod/50 faster, broken at the 150 for 5
• 5 x 100 kick w/ fins as 75 choice/25 free kick on side @ 1:30
• 4 x 150 free @ 2:15, as 100 mod/50 faster, unbroken
• 100 back easy
• 4 x 100 @ 1:45 negative split
• WD: 100 easy
• Total Distance: 4300 SCY

Hit Rate: 72/80 (90% - includes this morning's missed session)

I felt really crappy yesterday to be honest and my swimming was pretty subpar. I was just exhausted. It was hard. I struggled. I got through it. Lots of rest time between yesterday morning and today's afternoon workout, so hopefully my body has had a bit of a chance to sort itself out. We'll find out later I guess.

Much love,

Jess

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S-ODexQkFo

[Day 63]

The lyrics of the song are largely irrelevant, all I was trying to convey with that link was the fact that I had a really hard time getting to sleep last night. Sleepless nights are rough because I don't have a few hours to waste lying in bed and it's frustrating to have that be a part of my life experience. When I was in high school this was more nights than not, I always had a hard time getting to sleep which is why I went to bed so early most nights and even then there were too many nights when I came out of it with only 5 hours of sleep to show for it. I opted to sleep in instead of go to practice but there's nothing I can do to make up that lost workout time today because my day is so packed. I did a little bit of yoga in the morning with Henry and Henry is promising me core stuff tonight, but honestly that's contingent on everything else in my day running smoothly so I end up having enough time (which I really think I won't). It's frustrating. I'm frustrated. But that's life for ya. Hope your Thursday is off to a better start than mine.

Hit Rate: 67/74 (90.5%)

Much love,
Jess

School comes first

[Day 54A]

Trying to convince myself to write blog posts on busy rest days is one of those things that works literally zero percent of the time. Third missed day now I guess? I'm not great at this resolution thing evidently...but you know what, I sort of see it like how I see training. It's not about being perfect, it's about being as consistent as possible.

That being said, I'm not at practice right now. I'm at home, doing some final review for genetics before I tackle a take home quiz this morning. I didn't have enough time to finish it yesterday (full morning of lectures and full afternoon of clinic hours mean that all my studying was relegated to the morning and the evening and it just wasn't enough time) so I'm here trying to get it done now (it's due at noon). School is the priority.

I've also been thinking a bit about next year and am realizing that I want to focus on being the best med student that I can be during second year, so I'm probably going to step down training intensity dramatically in the fall after my fall races and really just focus on doing well in my classes and doing well on Step 1. That's a ways off, but I think it'll take me some time to get used to the idea of letting one thing go to focus on the other, so I'm glad I'm making my own expectations for myself clear ahead of time.

The rest day was good, I haven't been sleeping well recently which is a bummer (though strictly speaking I have been hitting enough hours), but other than that things are going well. Afternoon run today if the rest of the day goes according to plan.

Hit Rate: 57/62 (91.9%)

Hit rate feels like it's getting precarious. Am gonna have to make a really serious effort to not be skipping more workouts from here on out. Might be tough though with exams coming up in a few weeks. We'll see how it goes. Wish me luck!

Much love,
Jess

A morning update

[Day 50A]

I slept in today. I was supposed to do my usual early morning swim with that ride out and back and I had everything prepared last night and even got around to checking my tire pressures (which I'm constantly forgetting to do), but my alarm went off this morning and it honestly just didn't feel like the right call. I want to go into this afternoon's trainer ride with a clear head because I've got a mental block that's keeping me from achieving what I want to achieve. There's been a lot of negativity that's been stirring around me and training recently and I need to push back against that. I knew I needed the extra rest to put myself in the best possible place to succeed, and if that means dropping a swim, then today it was the right decision to make. I feel like it honestly is very rarely the right decision to make, but today was a strange exception.

Hit Rate Update: 53/57 (92.9%). Am a little disappointed in that? Yes, but the progress I'm trying to make is more important than trying to make my "showing up" number look good. It's worth the hit.

So in any case, why am I writing this blog post? Because I need an accountability push. I've done what I can to set myself up to have a good ride this afternoon and I need to put that out there so I have no excuses when I actually get on the trainer today. Fresh start with lots of rest, no reason to do anything less than crush it.

Gonna go hit up the grocery store now and spend the rest of the day between now and the ride studying. And eating lunch at some point. And hitting up lab to check in on some server issues that I'm still having (ugh). TGIF! I'll be back to report on the ride later. (:

Much love,
Jess

Gotta drop one eventually

[Day 14]

Workout notes first, then we'll talk life.

Today's Workout: AM CSP practice, sprint freestyle day
Summary:

• WU: 
• 400 swim
• 8 x 125 free DPS @ 1:55
• Main Set:
• 6 x 75 @ 1:10 as 50 mod/25 build to MAX
• 3 x 50 @ 1:10, odds MAX, evens easy recovery
• 5 x 100 kick w/ fins @ 1:30, 75 mix of choice and free kick on side/25 fly kick on back (exaggerate the undulation, fast beats)
• 12 x 50 @ :55, patterned as 4 cycles of 3
• 1 - break out
• 2 - fast turn
• 3 - break in
• 500 swim moderate, focus on streamlines (not even the dolphin kicks, just tight streamlines)
• 50 MAX (I went a :34, it was pretty pathetic)
• WD: 150 easy
• Total Distance: 3800 SCY

Hit Rate: 14/14 (100%)

Notes/thoughts:

• My left shoulder was a little bit weird today, just some pulling on the rotator cuff on the return to neutral after breaths to my right. The shoulder itself has also just been pretty sore/tight the remainder of the day. Not really sure what the deal is. Alignment is probably a little bit off on the rotation. Everything about my rotation in freestyle needs work.
• I've been trying to get back to a nice bent arm recovery in freestyle. I like the versatility of knowing I can swim with a straight arm recovery (my turnover is quicker, I have more stability in choppy water, the power phase of my pull is a bit stronger, etc. etc.) but it's less efficient, I have a bit more hand entry to pull lag than I'd like, and it's probably not great for my rotator cuff in the long run. I want to know I can swim well with either type of recovery so I gotta get back to working on the nice smooth bent arm recoveries. 
• I miss details work. The one thing that irks me about triathlon swimming is that it seems to be such a massive raw fitness based thing sometimes and just slamming out a lot of yards is not my style. I miss getting to work on the little things, body position, pull technique, clean turns and underwaters, etc. so it was nice to have some of that today. 
• I don't understand why I am so slow in the pool right now. Part of it is definitely technical. I can feel all the ways in which my body position sucks and how my kick is somehow still not properly synced up with my pull, which is all frustrating, but I think beyond that I just lost a bunch of my higher gears and I don't know how to get them back other than showing up in the pool and just doing my thing and hoping to find my groove. I'm doing 100s at a pace slower than I've swum a pool mile alone during rec swim before. It's not even sensible. But whatever, I have pool problems all the time, and the only way to solve them is really by swimming more, so I'll keep doing that and hopefully something will click back into place at some point.
• The bike out was okay today, temp was cold but no wind which was nice. I need to get a full facemask or something to help my face stay warm, maybe I'll buy one when I go skiing this weekend, that way I can maybe convince myself to go ride my road bike outside on the weekends too. (Wind is an inevitable thing at faster speeds and having nothing to cover my cheeks is super brutal.)

So today was a planned double day, but a few things are going on that made me decide to axe workout two today. The big one is that my right knee spent most of yesterday having a horrible time. There was a point when I was leaving school and going down the stairs and my knee was just collapsing underneath me because it hurt, so I think I need to give it a moment. I woke up this morning with it feeling perfectly fine except for the occasional twinge when I twist/pivot or move laterally but the joint feels loose when I'm taking steps and with skiing over the weekend, I'm just not comfortable risking anything with it. The plan had been an outdoor run today and a treadmill workout plus some dryland tomorrow morning, but I decided to opt out of the afternoon workout today and will be swimming tomorrow morning instead just to keep things low impact. It may even be a no breaststroke kick day (it's IM day tomorrow), depending on how my knee handles things.

(Another random thing to note: All of my joints have felt real loose the past week or so in general. It's a bit weird, but it's in my knees and my wrists and my elbows and I really wish I had some of that joint stuff my mom takes because I bet it would be helpful. But oh well. I guess I'll just like...drink milk and eat food instead and let it resolve on its own.)

That having been said, I get to knock myself for the first time all year for missing a workout. This situation is one where I would typically consider whether or not I wanted it to count against me, because I am taking the afternoon off for a legitimate reason and I don't want to feel compelled to ignore legitimate reasons to take time off just because I want this hit rate number to look good. At the same time, I want to be able to look back on this number at the end of the season and have it actually reflect an accurate comparison of what I did accomplish versus what I wanted to accomplish in terms of training. So, in the interest of keeping things honest, I'm counting the workout for what it is: a missed workout. I will continue to just keep making random judgment calls about what counts and what doesn't as situations arise in the future. In the meantime...

Hit Rate: 14/15 (93%) - Also, for everyone that's new to this, the goal is to keep that percentage above 90% (and I always round down, deal with it) in an ideal world, but I am willing to accept it getting down even lower (~85% is okay, below 80% becomes not so okay) because life happens.

I should go address everything else I've been putting off in my life now. This is the crazy thing about having all this extra time from forgoing a workout: I waste literally 100% of it and end up just as time crunched as I always am. Swim tomorrow, Boston-bound in the afternoon after that, can't wait to see my other half and HIT UP KILLINGTON THIS WEEKEND. Yay (:

Much love,

Jess