Haven't forgotten how to ride my bike...yet...

[Day 105]

Today's Workout: Moderate ride, laps of Forest Park
Summary: 23.98 mi, 1:29:49, 16.0 mph
Speed splits by 5 mi: 15.7, 16.8, 16.2, 15.8, 15.6
Hit Rate: 103/113 (91.1%)

I've still got some residual back pain/soreness/don't really know what it is but hoping it'll clear up. My IT band is really tight, worse on the right than on the left, really need to stretch tonight is all. Can't wait to race! Sorry for the short posts but life is happening lol. Studying time!

Much love,
Jess

The fourth month has not been kind to the blogging

[Day 102]

Sorry. I'm trying. I swear.

Friday's PM Workout: Base run w/ Henry riding on a bike next to me offering words of encouragement the whole time
Summary: 8.67 mi, 1:18:45, 9:05 pace, 176 spm
Pace splits by mile: 8:59, 9:08, 9:07, 9:03, 9:03, 8:56, 9:10, 9:12, 9:09
Notes: Definitely felt like I was fading towards the end and it was a relatively flat run since I took the bike path instead of the footpath, but I'm still happy with the pace and effort overall.
Hit Rate: 98/108 (90.7%)

Saturday's Workout: Easy run, paced Helena through the Go! St. Louis 5k!
Summary: 3.15 mi, 31:20, 9:57 pace
Notes: Was definitely hoping to get to a point pace wise where she could finish strong but we underestimated the terrain and she wasn't really prepared for that so things started out a tad too fast and fell off a bit as time went on. I'm still super proud of her though, she took something crazy like 8 minutes off her last 5k! Hoping she keeps running and we can do this again with more races in the future.

Sunday's Workout: Trainer brick, 2 hours on the trainer (mix of speedwork/sprints and hill work) and 4 mi FAST off the bike
Summary:

• Trainer set:
• WU: 10 mins easy
• Pre-set: 8 x :30/:30 spin ups, 2 mins easy
• Main Set: 
• 8 x (3 mins on, 2 mins recovery) at 95 rpm, starting at base (big ring in front, 2nd biggest ring in back to start), going up one gear each minute
• 4 x 5 segments at base +3/+4/+5/+4/+3, alternating 2 min segments and 1 min segments by set (total climb times are 10/5/10/5), 2 mins easy spinning recoveries between 
• 8 x :45/:45 sprints @ base +1 
• 10 mins steady state (prep for transition) 
• Total time: 120 mins
• Summary: 29.13 mi, 2:00:37, 14.5 mph
• Trainer speed splits: 13.4, 15.3, 14.6, 14.9, 14.8, 14.1
• Transition: 1:03.3
• Run summary: 4.49 mi, 38:45, 8:38 pace, 181 spm
• Run splits by mile: 8:32, 8:44, 8:42, 8:35, 8:36

Notes: I was challenged by Henry to do the run under 9:00 pace average (for a reward of ice cream, which I didn't actually take in the end lol) and I would have never gone for it if he hadn't made that challenge, but I did and it went spectacularly well. Things oscillated between feeling tough and feeling remarkably easy but basically as long as I kept my cadence up I felt pretty strong. I pushed up the hills and found it pretty easy to recover after them and I was holding pace well in the flats which I struggle with sometimes so all in all I was very very very happy with how things went. I wasn't going to be this aggressive with my run at the race but people tell me the Clemson course is flat so I think I'm going to shoot for under 9:00 pace on my 10k and if it falls apart in the last 2 miles, then so be it. But given how that run went, I think I definitely have it in me and it would be shame not to give it a try so that's the game plan for now.

Hit Rate: 99/109 (90.8%)

Today's Workout: Gym sesh, last lift before racing! (~1:15)

Summary:

• Back squats: WU 8 @ 95# (was rotating with a friend, this was the weight she was doing so I just went with it), 5 x 8/6/8/8/8 @ 115/115/105/105/105 (disappointed that I had to drop down, but it was the right call, 115s were a real struggle)
• Deadlifts: 4 x 8/8/6/6 @ 155# (probably could have gone for 8s on the later sets but prioritized protecting my back, don't want to take any injury risks this close to competing, felt strong even though it was right after squatting, the big deadlift plates definitely help since the bar starts pretty far off the ground)
• Pulldowns: 4 x 10/10/10/7-3 @ 7+ plates (didn't go for sets of 12 because honestly I just didn't feel like it...)
• Flat bench: WU 12 @ 55#, 3 x 10/8/7 @ 85# (these continue to disappoint...just gotta keep doing the thing)
• Leg stability set: 2 x
• Single leg glut bridges: 10/side (body weight)
• Single leg Romanian deadlifts: 10/side @ 25# (one DB)
• Band squats: 20
• Shoulder press: 3 x 12/10/8 @ 25#/side (still not understanding how I can do 8-12 drop sets at 25#/15# but somehow I still can't hit full sets of 12 with just the 25s...)
• Single arm DB row: 3 x 12/side @ 40# (go. up. in. weight. And need more grip strength looool.)
• Incline bench: 3 x 12/10/8 @ 65#
• Fly pulls w/ resistance cords: 4 x 30

Notes: I felt pretty weak today, which was sort of disappointing, but I also made a point of trying not to take myself too seriously. The point of today was just to remind my body to try and hold onto as much muscle as possible between now and when I race so the strength doesn't just fall right off my body, the details of how much weight I'm moving right now aren't super important. The other half of that story is the fact that I'm as strong as I've ever been in my life which means inevitably I'm going to get to a point where it gets harder to keep going up in weight without some changes to how much time I'm spending working on strength. I'll save the attempts at serious progress making for when I'm not so focused on triathlons, for now just holding close to this set point is fine by me. I also went to the gym in the middle of the day, which I never do, and I had an interesting revelation about how vulnerable I feel when I'm training and how it freaks me out to show that kind of vulnerability around others. The other thing that I realized though is that I need to be willing to take ownership of what I'm there for and what I'm doing. Sometimes I worry about what other people think about the random girl in the boy space at the gym but at the end of the day, I know exactly why I'm there and what I'm out to get and it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it. (And you know, I don't subscribe to the patriarchy and all and I need to stop talking like I do.)

Hit Rate: 100/110 (90.9%)

I was really tired after this but it seems like a good amount of coffee is bringing me back to life. Much school work to be done now. Tomorrow will be a swim in the morning and if there's good weather, a chill ride in the afternoon, either in Forest Park or maybe elsewhere if I'm feeling adventurous. We'll see. But it'll be chill. Because we're starting to err into taper territory...not officially yet (I've been hesitant about declaring a day as official start of taper) but I do want to get some decent recovery in so that'll be the point of the ride. Happy Monday!

Much love,

Jess

Getting it done

[Day 97B]

Today was an adventure. That was mostly full of terrible things. I was just dissatisfied with so much of what went on today. I took a nap in the afternoon that I shouldn't have. I wasn't as productive as I should've been. The weather was crappy. It was bad. And then I tried to go for this brick and took my bike out of the apartment through the back and got mud all up in my cleats which made clipping in initially really hard. But I got it eventually and I figured it would be fine. Unfortunately, the first time I hit a light, I clipped out and could not for the life of me get clipped back in. I spent an entire lap of the park trying to figure out what to do about my pedaling situation and finally decided that I had to go home to sort it out. So I ended up coming home and spending close to an hour disassembling, cleaning, and reassembling my cleats to get them to work again and then heading back out for the workout.

It seemed silly but at that point I had wasted close to two hours and I was trying to figure out what the best plan of action was. Maybe I should've just settled for a ride or went for a run instead or something but I just felt like the world was trying to stop me from making this workout happen and I didn't want to be stopped. I kept thinking about how the day had been such a huge disappointment and I couldn't imagine doing any less for this workout than what I had originally set out to do because any less than that would have felt like quitting or failing. I felt like I had something to prove. So I went out and proved it and took my workout exactly as I had planned. Sure, I lost a lot of my day to making that point and it made me really time crunched this evening and I really really struggled through everything else I had to do, but it was worth it. I haven't been proud of myself like this in a long time. Plus I learned how to fix my cleat issues! Redemption. I love redemption.

Today's Workout: PM brick, 24 mile ride (laps of Forest Park) and 6 mile run (hilly side of Forest Park)
Summary:

• Bike: 24.17 mi, 1:30:41, 16.1 mph average
• Bike speed splits by 5 mi: 15.2, 16.5, 15.9, 15.9, 16.6
• Bike notes: It was windy, I went way harder and rode way more aggressively than I typically would knowing I was running off the bike, but I was angry and I wanted to attack it and see what my body could handle. I was proud of how it turned out.
• Transition: 2:13
• Run: 6.06 mi, 55:56, 9:14 average pace, 178 spm average
• Run splits by mile: 9:01, 9:11, 9:23, 9:22, 9:11, 9:17
• Run notes: So happy with the cadence! The hills are TOUGH after the bike. My legs burned so hard on every uphill but I just tried to focus on keeping my upper body relaxed and my turnover quick. It worked out pretty well I think. First two miles felt really relaxed and then it just got exponentially tougher. It felt like I was fighting for every step in those middle miles, but I knew I was hitting a good pace and I just kept pushing and luckily my body never fell apart on me. It was a solid solid run. 

Hit Rate: 96/105 (91.4%)

Hitting up rec swim over lunch tomorrow. Gonna do a distance free set because I need to do more distance workouts. Hope everyone had a good Wednesday!

Much love,

Jess

And we keep coming back for more

[Day 79]

I didn't post yesterday because I ended up swapping workout days and sometimes I'm bad about posting on off days and it's exams so honestly this isn't my priority, sorry single human being who reads this blog lol. I had a pretty crappy workout today, crappy workouts tend to get me really emotionally riled up, and I was thinking about how I like got through many years of my life like this and I realized that it was because I always knew that I would be right back at it tomorrow. It just never seemed like an option that I could quit or walk away because it was frustrating, I was just gonna go back to the pool and do my thing and fail over and over again day after day until I had a breakthrough. And more likely than not, after my little breakthrough, I would go back to failing again day after day. But I think I always knew that as long as I kept showing up there would be progress eventually so I just kept showing up. I dunno how that really worked out for me long term. I wasn't the most successful swimmer. But I got to race and I loved it and honestly I'm a stronger person for it. I don't feel strong today. I don't feel persistent today. I feel like I had another workout in which my brain let me down and I'm just not where I want to be. It sucks. But I also know we'll be back at it tomorrow and the day after and the day after so one of these days it'll come together and not be horrible. Doesn't really change the fact that all I want to do is sit around and cry about it right now, but I guess it makes the long term not look so bleak.

Today's Workout: PM trainer ride, ~120 mins
Summary:

• WU: 
• 10 mins easy spin 
• 8 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• 2 mins easy spin
• Main Set: 
• 3 x 5/5/5 (you know the drill by now), no rest between rounds as written, in reality I broke for 5 minutes between rounds 2 and 3 and went 5/5/1 min easy/4 mins fast on that last one because honestly I just quit, it wasn't pretty
• 5 mins easy
• 3 x 8/2 with effort as 3/1/3/1, base +4, 60-65 rpm, +10 or more on pick up minutes, easy spin recoveries for the 2 mins 
• Extra 2 mins rest 
• 2 x 3/2 of 105/90, low resistance, focusing on the high cadence 
• WD: 8 mins easy
• Totals: 28.75 mi, 2:05:38, 13.7 mph average

Hit Rate: 83/91 (91.2%, no points off for yesterday because I just swapped that workout with this one, though it is worth noting that I'm also adjusting tomorrow's brick to just be a base run because I need time to study and that's the priority)

The only thought I have is I should work on that whole low gear high cadence thing some more, because I do struggle with smooth pedal stroke mechanics and I think it would be a really meaningful thing to work on some more. Gonna go back to my disappointment hole now and go do that. Yay.

Much love,

Jess

Longest trainer ride to date

[Day 73]

Watched a hockey game for the first time in forever while sitting down for a steady-ish 3 hour ride. Really had no plan, so sort of pushed on and off for the first hour or so and then settled into a pattern of building every 5 mile segment for the rest. Deets incoming!

Today's Workout: Trainer ride, "steady" 3 hour ride
Summary: 42.43 mi, 3:00:37, 14.1 mph, 90 rpm average
Speed splits by 5 mi: 13.9, 15.2, 15.4, 13.5, 14.0, 14.0, 14.2, 13.9, 12.0
Hit Rate: 77/85 (90.5%)

Shower, food, bedtime now.

Much love,
Jess

Attitude check

[Day 69B]

There's been a trend these past couple of days. It always gets like this, I always get to a place with training where I find myself really wrestling with what I'm doing and what it means and how I can go about doing these things that I love without completely mangling my love for them. It always happens and I've still not figured out how to fix it. But I always have thoughts, so I will share those. Workout summary first.

Today's Workout: Trainer ride, 120 mins, grab bag of things
Summary:

• WU: 
• 10 mins easy 
• 8 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• 2 mins easy 
• Main Set: 
• 5/5/5 @ 80-85/85-90/90-95 rpm 
• 2 mins recovery 
• 5/5/5 @ 80-85/85-90/90-95 rpm 
• 4 mins recovery 
• 6 x (3 mins on, 2 mins recovery) at 90-95 rpm, starting at base, going up one gear each minute for the 3 minute working set
• 2 extra mins easy
• 4 x 2/2/2 as base +3 @ 65-70 rpm, base +4 @ 60-65 rpm, easy spin recovery at base
• WD: 8 mins easy
• Totals: 28.63 mi, 2:00:37, 14.2 mph average

Hit Rate: 73/81 (90.1%)

Notes/thoughts:

• I did not go very hard today. It was not a bad workout despite that. Hit both 5/5/5 rounds, they didn't feel fantastic towards the end and I will admit that there were some pace blips below target (but for the most part I was consistently on target) but compared to how that felt the first time I came back and tried to hit that set, it was way way way way better. It seems like the extra rest time did do my legs some good.
• Worth noting that I did drop out of target on the 3rd minute of a few of the 3 minute sets, but again, it was a real solid effort for the most part. I actually sort of botched the second round altogether and thought it was going to lead into one of those descending spirals of "omg I can't do this" failures, but I was good about mentally checking myself and getting back on track so I'm really happy about that. 
• The point is, I didn't kill myself on the trainer today, which is what I usually do, so it feels a little bit weird to have not been entirely destroyed by the endeavour. 

Non-workout related thoughts:

• I finally cleaned the clips on my bike shoes. They are doing much better now and are way less stiff when I'm trying to get in/out of my pedals.
• I listened to 2.5 podcasts today. Two from the archives of Julie Foucher's podcast and half of one of Spin's. There were some interesting recurrent themes today in the podcasts of people just really digging into focusing on what they thought was best for them and their happiness and tuning out the rest of the noise and just doing that. I need more of that in my life. I think I try to worry about every imaginable thing and the vast majority of the things I worry about are not important. If I just let myself do me, without worrying about the plan or the repercussions or whatever, I would be fine. I've never not been fine and I imagine the world will continue to turn even if I don't have every little variable under control. I need to take a chill pill is really what I think the universe was trying to tell me today. 
• I love longer warm downs. I don't always take warm downs that amount to a full 10 minutes or more, but I find that when I do, I'm always exhausted initially, and then I recover and my body naturally amps up the pace/effort towards the end. It finds this rhythm it wants to be in and it goes and gets it, even though it's warm down and honestly I couldn't care less about what I was actually doing. And today, it was interesting because while I was watching the rpms and speed go up towards the end of my warm down, it clicked that this was my body doing the thing that it loves to do. My body loves that feeling. There's like a zone that it really enjoys being in, sometimes it's high intensity, sometimes it's low, sometimes it's comfortably in the middle. But whatever it is, my body really loves moving and experimenting with movement and it's so nice when it just gets in its groove and does its own thing without my brain having to worry about it. That's the thing that makes me feel like I was made to do this. Maybe not fast or well, but I was made to move and it's so lovely. 
• Oh now I want to tell a story. Fun fact, I spent a lot of my sophomore year of college playing around with different ways to stay in shape. I had sort of just taken freshman year off from physical activity. I took the occasional swim and the occasional jog but honestly that was all I did. Then I fell back into club swimming and starting trying to run more and spent more time in the gym and I had all these questions for myself about what fitness was going to look like in my life when I got older, because I knew that I had to make good habits early if I didn't want to fall into really poor physical health like most of the nation does eventually. So I played around. I went to yoga classes and pilates classes and group fitness classes and spin classes. I found a yoga studio I loved and I went on Saturday or Sunday mornings just to clean my hands of the week and it was fantastic. I went to spin classes early in the morning on Mondays and Wednesdays because the intensity blew my mind and I loved being pushed like that. I went to swim practice and I lifted because I wanted to swim faster and I had some cool friends that went to the pool with me. I ran occasionally still because I had always been jealous of runners because what the heck is running and how is it that people are good at it. Anyways, it was my funny foray into trying anything and everything that actually made me feel like I could run a triathlon if I wanted, after all I was a swimmer, I'd been going to spin class, and I'd been sort of running sporadically. But I'd really had no life goals beyond trying to just do random stuff at that point. And somehow I got back on that path of competing with swimming, then with tris, and like got lost from that whole adventure of just doing whatever I wanted to for no other reason than the fact that I wanted to (and it's good for you). I sort of miss that right now. And don't get me wrong, I love racing. I would do anything for racing (as evidenced by all of this going on right now) and as long as I have the ability to be racing I will probably continue racing. But I would love to find a way to be able to race and to return to my former "I just do stuff because I want to and it's awesome" mentality. That was a really long bullet point. Here let me make a new one.
• I don't know that I ever will be able to race and just have fun doing whatever I want though. So much gets invested into racing (in terms of money, my time, Henry's time and sanity and endless loving care/support) and it makes me feel like I have to work hard enough and do well enough to at least justify what's going on there. I think I'd feel really bad if these resources got funneled into giving me the opportunity to race and I didn't take it seriously and just waved my arms about and had a random fun time instead of focusing on what actually needs to get done for me to get better and do well. I dunno. Sometimes I think the pressure is unfounded. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I wish there was no good reason for me to feel that pressure but honestly I think there is. So it makes me feel a little stuck when I daydream about being a cute sophomore on a try everything streak. I want to race more than I want that life back and I guess that means that things just can't be as much fun when I'm training for a race. It's sort of a bummer. I'm still working out what that means long term. I'm still trying to figure out if I can make some kind of middle ground. I'm sure time will give me the answer, but until then, I'll just keep speculating.

Officially have a morning swim on the calendar tomorrow morning, but the weather is also predicting rain and honestly I'm not riding out/back from practice in the rain, so if that turns out to the be the case I'll just hit the gym extra early, no big deal. Only one workout for tomorrow, so should be a pretty good day. Happy hump day everyone!

Much love,

Jess

I rode really far.

[Day 58]

Like 20 miles further than I've ever ridden. It was fantastic. I feel like I should say more about it, but honestly I don't really want to. I'll bullet point some of the highlights at the end. I'm swamped with work this weekend so I've really been trying to focus on that instead the rest of the day.

Today's Workout: Long ride w/ Brian
Summary: 52.75 mi, 3:55:10, 13.5 mph
Speed splits by 5 mi: 13.8, 12.9, 13.7, 14.5, 12.2, 14.6, 13.5, 13.5, 14.8, 11.9, 13.4
Hit Rate: 63/69 (91.3%)

Notes/thoughts:

• Route was out to Confluence Tower and back via the Riverfront Trail (we started at the Forsyth entrance to Forest Park).
• My shoe clip things were super tight this morning, had a really hard time getting in and out. But they loosened up a bit by the end of the ride.
• Brian was a great baby-sitter. Took care of me after my one (and only) fall of the day. Also helped me with my clipping issues. Didn't mind me being slow. Was good.
• We went really slow. I probably could have taken it just a touch faster, but probably just a touch. Any faster than just a touch faster and I would have definitely crashed and burned and died. My brain was getting fuzzy on the way back as is. 
• Eating real food is pretty awesome. I think it would have to be going at about that effort, because if I were riding harder than that I'd have a hard time physically chewing and swallowing but also digesting. But for a long ride like this at the effort that we took it, being able to eat real food on the ride was fantastic. (Clif Bars were what I had, just btw.)
• So the full ride actually took us closer to 5 hours because of stopping time (lights, a tour of Confluence Tower, some random detours and reroutes). See the Garmin page for deets.
• It was nice to take it slow, I felt pretty good the whole time, but then somehow I got home and over the course of an hour crashed so hard. Legs are feeling it even though they felt pretty light and happy on the pedals most of the ride. 
• We road on the shoulder of the highway for like 4-5 miles worth of the out and of the back. I'm getting much more comfortable riding on the roads. I don't think I'd opt for the highway very often because every time I got near a pothole I couldn't help thinking that if I messed something up and fell into the road I would be dead (which was the truth) but I think I could get more used to riding around real traffic. 
• I gained so much confidence in my ability to go for this long today. Even if it was slow, it was something that I was really scared about and I think my body actually handled it really well, so I feel like I'm going to be able to tackle my usual 20-30 mile rides with way more confidence than I used to have. It's super fantastic.
• Also, this is important: I HAD SO MUCH FUN. It was nice to just use my bike to go explore and hang out with a friend and have funny random conversations and enjoy myself. It was a great great way to spend a morning. So glad I did that.

There ya have it! Day off tomorrow and we get back on that grind on Monday. (:

Much love,

Jess

PS - Here's a picture!

Kicked off the weekend with a 50 mile ride! Thanks for taking me out Brian! (: #cycling #didntgethitbyacar #littlevictories

A photo posted by Jessica Hao (@newxheights) on Feb 27, 2016 at 11:12am PST

The comeback trail?

[Day 55]

Lol I love how I have basically made a saga of my trainer struggles at this point. Well today is the first high point in the adventure, so I guess I don't mind too much. Taking steps in the right direction! But let's start with where the day started.

Today's AM Workout: Gym sesh! (~1:25)
Summary:

• Back squats: WU 12 @ 75#, 8 @ 105#, 2 x 6 @ 115#, 2 x 8 @ 105#
• Flat bench: WU 12 @ 55#, 4 x 8/8/6/6 @ 85#
• Deadlifts: 3 x 8 @ 135# (I only did this weight because it was already on the bar and I was too lazy to change it)
• Pulldowns: 4 x 12 @ 7 plates, alternating wide/narrow grip
• Superset: 4 rounds of
• Lunge hops: 20 total alternating 5/side, focusing on HEIGHT (and stability on the landing, which still needs some amount of work)
• Band squats (bodyweight): 15 (20 on the last round)
• Superset: 3 x 
• Seated DB shoulder press: 7 @ 30#/side, 12 @ 25#/side, 10 @ 25#/side
• Single arm DB row: 12/side @ 40#
• Incline bench: 3 x 12 @ 55#

Hit Rate: 59/64 (92.1%)

Notes/thoughts:

• Squats: I wanted to play with the big weight because now that I'm above 100 lbs I'm constantly like, AHHH IF I GET A BIT STRONGER I'LL BE WORKING WITH BODYWEIGHT, which strictly speaking is not even that true because 25 lbs is a long ways to go, but you know. Psychological heuristics don't always speak reason. Anyways, in reality, I need to get back to sets of 12 instead of sets of 8. I was doing the 8 getting back into the gym to try and protect my back. I've done a good job of it, I'm stronger now, I need to get back to doing sets of 12. That having been said, 8 is so much easier than 12 so I've been real lazy about trying to do this. No 115 next time, just straight 105 sets and the goal is more reps!
• Bench: Didn't feel as strong as I did last time I was at the gym. Probably because this was thing number 2 instead of thing number 1? I know some people think it doesn't make a difference because thing number 1 was a leg thing and there are no shared muscles but uh, you would be wrong. I'm always strongest at what I do first. In any case, went for an extra set today because why not. I kind of like doing more than 3 sets of things, maybe this will be something I do more often.
• Deads: Weight wasn't that bad, definitely came down with less control but the reps were mostly pretty solid. Last two-ish on each set tended to be a bit sketchy. No pain though so I think we're all clear. Also, BIG PLATES. 
• Pulldowns: Took probs more rest than I needed to between sets but I hit them all today without having to let go which was new. I was counting in sets of four, so I was trying to trick my mind into thinking it was doing 3 reps instead of 12, and weirdly enough I think it kinda worked. 
• Leg superset: Didn't want to blow my legs out too much before the ride today so did some more accessory work. Lunge hops are surprisingly hard to do right. Especially towards the end. 
• Push/pull superset: Lol um so tried the 30s for shoulder press, it was okay but not great, probably better off doing straight sets of 12s @ 25 for now until I get a bit stronger (in place of the 8/8 drop sets) so I can work up to being able to hit entire sets of 8 @ 30. Single arm rows felt great today, didn't have any of the issues I had last time I went for the 40 so I'm real happy about that. 
• Incline bench: Opted for less weight and more reps on this compared to last week because I didn't take any time after the other arm things so I didn't know where my shoulders were gonna be. Felt strong, would be happy going back up to 65 next time. 
• Wow I had a lot of thoughts today. Weird.

Today's PM Workout: Trainer ride, 115 mins (yeah, I know, I opted not to go for the 5 bs minutes to get me to 2 hours, whatever)

Summary:

• WU: 
• 10 mins easy 
• 8 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• 2 mins easy 
• Main Set: 
• 5/5/5 @ 80-85/85-90/90-95 rpm 
• 2 mins easy 
• 3/3/3 same pattern 
• 2 mins easy 
• 2/2/2 same pattern 
• 2 mins easy 
• 1/1/1 same pattern 
• 4 mins easy 
• 3 x 5/2 @ 80-85/85-90/90-95 rpm by set 
• 2 extra minutes easy 
• Sprints: 2 x (6 x :45/:45 MAX sprints at base +1 over 100 rpm, 2 mins recovery) 
• WD: ~10 mins easy for a total of 115 mins 
• Totals: 27.63 mi, 1:56:47, 14.2 mph average

Hit Rate: 60/65 (92.3%)

Notes/thoughts:

• I was actually super freaked out about doing this but it went great. The 5/5/5 was tough towards the end but nowhere near as hard as it felt last week (I think I'm more rested) and neither was the split 3 x 5/2 at the end so either progress is being made or I'm feeling more rested. 
• I really liked getting to work with the pattern but in shorter intervals, I think I got a good workout and a confidence boost with regards to handling the workout intensity. I'm still trying to work through being really intimidated by this particular set and I think every time I take a step in the right direction it gives me a little more confidence in myself. 
• I killed the sprints today. The pace was so on point (see the Garmin file if you care), I was really happy with that. 
• It's worth noting I took about an hour nap before I did this workout, so maybe that played a role too? Idk. 
• I haven't decided what the progression is going to look like for next week...I will figure it out eventually lol.

AM swim tomorrow and that's it! It snowed today so I'm a little bit worried about ice on the trip out to the pool, but hopefully things will be okay (I have to bike out there tomorrow). Gotta study for that microbiology quiz now. Happy Wednesday! (:

Much love,

Jess

Unplanned doubles

[Day 50C]

Lol yeah it's me again. Third post of the day. Apparently a lot's going on today. So I got a random text at 1 pm from my friend Hoang (who is an awesome cyclist) asking if I (and some other classmates) wanted to go for a ride at 2:30. Obviously I've already worked out today. And tried to work out yesterday. My legs, despite falling short of all of my expectations, actually felt horrible. Like "why is it that there are three steps leading up to the door of my building" horrible. So obviously I said "Yeah let's do it!". I cannot tell if I am amused by myself or not.

To my credit, the weather was beautiful today, it was the kind of day where it was hard to say no to a mid-afternoon ride. So after checking in at lab, I rushed home and got all ready to go and met up with Hoang and hit a pretty awesome trail that ran along the river. It was really windy today, especially along the riverfront. I was sort of expecting it to only be windy one way, because that would be sensible, but in reality it was just windy the whole time. Hoang taught me some stuff about drafting and let me ride behind him and get pulled most of the way. He's just so much stronger of a cyclist than I am, he was definitely trying to feel out what pace was working for me and I would fight to keep up and fight to keep up and get dropped for a bit and he would slow down and come back to me and we would do it all again. It was actually super great to ride with someone who is faster because it made me work hard while keeping things light-hearted and fun. I did fall twice, both times at a dead standstill because I didn't clip out early enough. It was okay though, I didn't get any scrapes or anything, just slightly wounded pride. xD

Today's PM Workout: Ride outdoors along the Riverfront Trail w/ Hoang
Summary: 30.44 mi, 2:02:10, 14.9 mph
Speed splits by 5 mi: 15.2, 15.6, 15.3, 14.2, 17.3, 13.1
Hit Rate: 55/59 (93.2%)

So I had been planning to ride tomorrow morning, but I guess that plan's changing now that I've gotten this ride in today. I figure I'll take the opportunity to go to the gym and lift, focusing on upper body, nothing heavy on the legs because I'm taking a long run on Sunday. I'll throw in some stability work stuff (band squats, bridges, etc.) because I never do enough of that. It'll be good. I'm glad I got to go ride outside today and explore and learn new things and have fun just trying to keep up with a friend. Here's a picture! (:

Thanks for taking me out to ride today @greenboxmode! Glad you're forcing a girl that spends most of her time on a trainer to see real roads and brave car traffic. Lucky to have friends who push me out of my comfort zone and teach me new things and are willing to pull me through a ton of headwind to get me home. #blessed #butactually #timetostudynow #thatgeneticsisntgonnalearnitself #cycling #triathlon #grow

A photo posted by Jessica Hao (@newxheights) on Feb 19, 2016 at 2:55pm PST

Much love,
Jess

Up alllllllll the weight!

[Day 42]

Today's AM Workout: Trainer ride
Summary:

• I had a real 90 minute workout planned but I was taking the ride first thing in the morning and I was fasted and it was very clear about 15 minutes in that it wasn't going to be the quality I wanted, so instead of trying to make a workout that wasn't gonna work work, I just opted for a 60 minute as high quality as possible endurance ride.
• Totals: 12.26 mi, 1:00:45, 12.1 mph average

Hit Rate: 45/47 (95.7%)

Today's PM Workout: Lift (w/ Henry, 75 mins)
Summary:

• Back squats: WU 12 @ 65#, 5 x 8 @ 105#
• Flat bench: WU 12 @ 55#, 3 x 8 @ 85#
• Deadlifts: 4 x 8 @ 125#
• Pulldowns: 3 x 12/12/8 @ 7/7/7+ plates (lol I still don't know these weight denominations)
• Shoulder press: 3 x 8-8 @ 25#/15#
• DB rows: 3 x 12/side @ 40# (these were terrible, grip strength was not a thing, I definitely had to put the weight down a lot, just more work to be done)
• Incline bench: 3 x 12/12/8 @ 55/55/65
• Superset: 3 x 
• 12 lateral raises @ 12#/side
• 12 plate front raises @ 25#

Hit Rate: 46/48 (95.8%)

I AM SUPER STRONG AT NIGHT. Lol being fed makes so much difference. I felt awful in the morning, just sort of pushed through whatever I could in a 60 minute steady state ride. This evening though, I felt super strong, was really happy with where I was at and the work I was getting done. Having Henry around is pretty key, just knowing that someone was watching meant that I fought through some spots when I really wanted to put the weight down and take a breath before I finished out. Twas wonderful.

My legs really hurt right now, which surprises me because all I really did was those 5 sets of squats (which were rough but I'm super proud of hitting). The rest of me feels okay. I expect all of this to change tomorrow morning, probably for the worse lol. Swim in the morning, run in the afternoon, lots of class in the middle. Bedtime now! (:

Much love,

Jess

"Sometimes I feel like I'm about to quit..."

[Day 40]

"...but it's about that time I get over it."

Thanks for the kick in the butt shuffle, I don't think I would've gotten on the bike trainer this afternoon if it weren't for that. Let's get to it!

I feel like I've been on a real hot streak recently with the swimming and I knew that it was going to end sooner or later but I didn't really dwell on it because I would have preferred later to sooner. Well today was the first roadblock I feel like I've hit in a while. It was a good run, but all good things must come to an end. I don't even know what it was, I guess I felt a little bit more tired than usual this morning and I really just couldn't get into it with the swimming. It went okay for the first half of the workout but then my lane mates all sort of left for one reason or another and the person who typically goes before me and pushes me the most in these workouts had some shoulder issues today so he just chilled it. Before you knew it, I was left finishing the set alone and whatever momentum I had been getting from just swimming around other people fizzled out pretty quickly. It sucks because I just couldn't focus on doing the best that I could do so in a lot of ways I feel let down by my tired brain more than I feel let down by my body, and I hate feeling like the limiting factor in my workouts is my brain. I feel like I should have a handle on that part of things by now, but it's hard to mentally on point every workout. Anyways, here's the summary:

Today's AM Workout: CSP practice, mid-distance free day
Summary:

• WU:
• 400 swim
• 4 x 75 kick/swim/kick @ ??? (sometimes I don't pay attention to the interval and I just swim...)
• 300 pull w/ paddles
• 4 x 50 free descend 1-4 @ :50
• Main Set: straight through unless otherwise indicated
• 3 x 200 free @ 3:00
• 2 x 150 free @ 2:20-2:25
• 100 free FAST (~1:20)
• (break)
• 3 x 150 free @ 2:15
• 2 x 125 free @ 1:50-1:55
• 100 free FAST (~1:25)
• (break)
• 3 x 125 free @ 1:50-1:55
• 2 x 100 free @ 1:30
• 75 free FAST (I didn't get a time on this one)
• WD:
• 2 x 100 kick choice w/ fins @ 10SR
• 2 x 75 swim choice w/ fins @ 10SR
• 100 easy
• Total Distance: 4100 SCY

Hit Rate: 42/44 (95.4%)

Another thing worth noting is that I haven't been feeling as recovered as I typically feel after a day off. This day off was pretty special too, because it was straddled by a morning workout and an afternoon workout so I actually got 48+ hours of rest when I usually try to limit myself to around 36 hours or less, so I was expecting to feel way more refreshed yesterday and today than I've been feeling. I guess this is the point at which things really start accumulating and that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's sort of the point of endurance training. I'll have some time early next week to sort of decompress and get a bit of that out of my system anyways, so I'll just have to be tough and get through this week feeling the way I do.

The day was a little bit stressful. I just feel like I have a lot going on at school and obligations keep popping up for the remainder of the week and it makes it tough to stay focused and motivated. I'm trying not to let all that get to me, but it really does. Also anticipating Henry coming soon really doesn't help me. I just want time to pass faster so he can be here, but I also don't because I have so much to do before he gets here, and all that's sort of stressful too. Anyways, my point is that it's the kind of situation that makes me super unmotivated when it comes to getting home and jumping on the trainer for two hours. It was honestly just the last thing I wanted to do. But Henry sent me a text telling me to remember why I'm asking my body to do this for me and that song (Invincible by Our Last Night) came on and I couldn't say no to that. 

Here's the fun thing about that song: it reminds me a lot of a mentality I really grew into back when I swam in high school. I knew all the girls from the other schools in our conference who were roughly my speed and roughly on my developmental trajectory as far as swimming goes. We were all a pretty tightly clustered bunch when it came to times and I was determined to come out on top every time. And the way I handled being tired and especially swimming hard practices when my body just felt awful was that I told myself that I didn't want to be able to beat these girls just on my best day, I wanted to be able to beat them every day. I wanted to be good enough that at my worst, I could beat them at their best. That's what I worked towards and it helped me hang on during the really hard days. That's sort of what that phase "I want to be invincible" meant to me, so when the song popped on, it was almost like a challenge. You're having a terrible day. What are you going to do to prove that you can come out on top even on the worst of days. Here's the summary:

Today's PM Workout: Trainer ride, 120 mins, endurance work with some speed thrown in

Summary:

• WU: 10 mins easy
• Pre-set:
• 8 x :40/:20 pick ups @ base/base/+1/+1/+2/+2/+1/+1
• 2 mins easy recovery 
• Main Set:
• 20 minute steady state effort, 90+ rpm @ base
• 5 mins easy
• Speed work: 6 x (6 min efforts, 2 min recovery) broken as 2 min base @ 100 rpm, 2 min base +1 @ 90+ rpm, 1 min base +2 @ 85+ rpm, 1 min base +2 @ MAX rpm
• So I didn't hit all the targets here, I was more or less hovering around the targets instead of staying above them, see the file if you're really interested
• 20 minute steady state effort, 90+ rpm @ base 
• WD: 7 mins easy
• Totals: 29.70 mi, 2:00:17, 14.8 mph average

Hit Rate: 43/45 (95.5%)

Notes/thoughts:

• I think I have a tendency of psyching myself out sometimes when it comes to what certain cadences at certain resistances should feel like and I actually do a lot better when I'm not staring at the numbers on my watch. For the 20 minute efforts today, I literally threw a towel over my watch and handlebars and didn't look at them the entire time and just let my body figure out what the right pace to be moving at was for that kind of steady effort. It hit it pretty bang on, which I was really impressed by. And what's even better about it was that it didn't necessarily feel hard, it felt like I was in exactly the right place, whereas sometimes I think when I'm looking at those numbers I psych myself out and it actually raises perceived effort when it really shouldn't. So that was an interesting experiment.
• The interval set in the middle was something I had pulled from a workout I did last year that was a shorter overall ride. I wanted to hit it again so I sandwiched it between two steady state efforts. The base +2 cadence target was 90+ rpm before and the MAX target was specified at 100+ rpm, but it was pretty obvious I wasn't going to hit those today so I made adjustments. I don't know if it's because I had that steady state interval beforehand or if it's because I'm using a different base gear (I used to ride mostly in my small ring in front and I've shifted back to starting mostly in my big ring in front but I normally have the back gear set such that what I define as base feels like a pretty comparable effort to me, so idk what the deal is) but either way, it was more of a struggle than I was expecting it to be. (Not that it was like easy by any means last time, but I think I made more of them, so that's saying something...)
• Today was a music day. Which was interesting, I hadn't had one of those in a while. I feel like I've done a lot of podcast days or silence days, but today I felt like I really needed music to help with the motivational lapse. It did work super well. There were so many amazing songs that came on that really pushed me through. A lot of it reminded me of my high school swimming days, especially the days at school that were just rough for whatever reason and ended in me jumping in the pool and just swimming my heart out because I didn't know what else to do. I really drew from that entire set of experiences, it was a reminder that I've gotten through a lot in life and if I could get through that I could get through this. I feel like sometimes when I'm pushing my absolute hardest, that's when I'm most brutally honest about who I am and what I love and I don't feel apologetic about it which is nice. I think normally, I'm worried about being too intense or specifically being judged by other people for being too intense, but like ADTR put it "cast your stones, cast your judgement, you don't make me who I am". (Not gonna lie, I cried a little bit in the middle of that last 20 minute segment when this line came on. It was partly the song, partly the workout, partly the rest of life. I want to cry during hard workouts pretty frequently, I don't typically do it, but music can tip me over that edge sometimes.)

I'm tired and I need to eat dinner and study for our microbes quiz tomorrow but honestly I think I'm going to fall asleep just like sitting here in this chair. So exhausted. Lift tomorrow morning (maybe a short treadmill run tacked on if my legs are feeling okay) and swim in the PM (either rec swim or tri team practice, TBD depending on how the rest of my day goes work-wise). Hope everyone had a great Tuesday!

Much love,

Jess

Loving something so much it hurts to stomach

[Day 37]

Today's Workout: Cycling (outside) with Molly! (MCT trail system)

Summary: 18.28 mi, 1:16:55, 14.3 mph

Speed splits by mile: 13.7, 15.6, 13.4, 14.6

Hit Rate: 40/41 (97.5%)

Notes/thoughts:

• Riding outside is amazing. It was really cold when I first got up this morning and I was worried it was going to be freezing and awful, but it was a super sunny day and the temperature came up a bit and I layered up real good and it was actually a totally fine temperature to be riding at. I had sort of shied away from riding outside because of the weather (not that I don't ride to practice in this weather anyways, but that's in like sweatpants and a ski jacket so it's sort of a different deal) but now I feel like there really isn't any good reason to, so I might hit the outdoors more often. 
• This set of trails Molly found is great. No traffic, not very many riders out today, well-paved, nice environment, I was just really happy about it. It's a bit of a trek to get out there, but with a buddy it's totally worth it. Also her tri bike is sick. Way jealous, really hoping she has some great races on it this year. 
• I fell once, trying to make a turn I should have really just clipped out for because the road was narrow. Luckily I was totally covered so no road rash besides a scrape on my ankle that I managed to get through my sock somehow.
• Molly has a heart rate monitor, which I'm sort of jealous of. There are so many things that I need to prioritize about getting before I want to invest in a heart rate monitor though that I'm just sort of like, okay another thing that's cool but not actually that important. xD
• I definitely felt like it took more effort to ride that pace than it should have today. Probably just fatigue from the week, but the speed demon in me is a tad bit disappointed because the biking felt so controlled and I normally prefer it to feel less controlled. I feel like my brain interprets biking really similarly to skiing and I want biking to give me skiing levels of speed rush which is basically impossible unless I'm shooting down a hill at a likely unsafe speed. All that really means though is I have to get more bike fit, which is what I'm working on right now, so maybe in a month or two I will be going faster and therefore be feeling happier about it. 

Weekly Recap:

• 3 rides (2 trainer, 1 outside), 3 swims, 4 runs (3 outdoors, 1 on a treadmill after lifting), 1 lift, 1 core specific session for a total of ~12:45.
• This was a big week, sort of artificially so because I included a half hour of core in the log and it was a 7 day week instead of a 6 day week because I swapped today's ride and tomorrow's rest day to accommodate other schedule things in my life. 
• I have been really tired. Like way more blown out at the end of each of my days (or even by mid-afternoon) than I was all of January. Makes sense because more volume. Surprisingly enough, I've been really impressed with the actual workout performance given that. In terms of late week workouts, runs have been really slow but the swims have been really solid and I'm super impressed with my body managing to hold that together despite feeling genuinely terrible. 
• It's been an emotional week. A lot of doubt, dissatisfaction, and self-pity at night but also a lot of big moments that have really re-affirmed to me why it is that I go through all of that. I love what I do. I could not not do what I do. It's really not a choice, it's just a part of who I am and who I will always be. So it's really hard, but I gotta buckle down and take that because this is what I want.
• I was just out at dinner and one of my friends said something really nice about how she was really impressed with how motivated I am and she probably doesn't realize this because I honestly had no idea how to properly respond to that comment but it meant so much to me. It always means so much to have someone say, hey I see you. I feel like this is a part of my life that is not actually seen by very many people because so much of it happens when I'm essentially alone, so to have someone acknowledge that meant a lot to me. It's just good to be seen. It makes me feel a lot less alone.

Next week is also gonna be a big week, followed by a short 4 day decompress before we get into what is officially speaking Block II. Honestly the plan is just to go really really hard and take all I can take and then let off for a bit and hopefully see the work pay off at the start of Block II. Much needed rest day coming up tomorrow. Happy Saturday! (:

Much love,

Jess

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsi6kCSTIFU

[Day 33]

The thing I love most about the song up above is that it's a quiet resolution kind of song. The story isn't necessarily something that everyone can relate to but I'm sure the themes will resonate with everyone. I'm going to share a much longer quote than I usually do, but these words hit really close to home this morning so I want to share them.

I don't want to float through life, I wanna drown in it
Break myself down, turn around in it
Take it until I've had enough and then build it back up
From the top to the ground again
So go ahead and say what you need to say
Cause those words might have hurt me yesterday
And dig deep in the cuts of my chest
Just to find out that you'll never get the best of me
So dear tragedy, have a seat
I don't give a fuck what you do to me
Cause yeah this light's going to burn out
But I can't fall, never learned how

That's all the commentary from me today. Here's the summary:

Today's Workout: AM trainer ride, 90 mins, big gear endurance work
Summary:

• WU: 10 mins easy spin 
• Spin ups: 5 x 30 up/30 recovery 
• Main Set: all big gear (base +3, 60-65 rpm, +10 or more on pick up minutes), easy spin recoveries at base
• 20 mins as 9/1/9/1 (base/pick up) 
• 3 mins easy spin 
• 16 mins as 7/1/7/1 
• 3 mins easy spin 
• 12 mins as 5/1/5/1 
• 3 mins easy spin 
• 8 mins as 3/1/3/1 
• WD: 10 mins easy 
• Totals: 20.88 mi, 1:30:22, 13.9 mph

Hit Rate: 35/36 (97.2%)

Notes/thoughts:

• So much for swimming today eh? The forecast actually got worse as time passed, it went from just rain to thunderstorms and the decision was sort of made that being safe on the roads was more important than making practice. I figured I could just move up a trainer workout and re-work the next few days, so I ended up sleeping in a half hour and doing a trainer ride this morning. I was sort of ticked off though because it definitely wasn't raining when I did wake up. It did start raining by probably around 6:30 am but it wasn't that bad and I felt sorta crappy about making what might have been the wrong call.
• Adjustments for the next few days: I was originally planning a dryland session tomorrow and some rowing and then a short easy run in place of the trainer ride I pulled up to today, but I thought about it and decided that since I'm skipping all my morning classes tomorrow anyways, I might as well hit up rec swim. So that's what I'm gonna do. It'll give me a chance to swim a test set and actually see where I am fitness wise. 
• It's sort of a bummer that I'm skipping the gym because I have been really enjoying doing more strength work this past week or two because of the light running load, but I do realize that my priorities have to be swim/bike/run and that strength work is just icing on the cake. One strength session a week doesn't feel like enough, but I'm always gonna want to do more and I know my schedule just doesn't allow for that, so I have to respect the fact that I'm probably only going to be hitting the gym up once this week (and every week from now on lol). 
• Actually in reference to the workout today: The last time I did a variant of this workout, it was shortened (no first 20 minute block) and I did it at base +4 gearing (I think?), which was why it was super brutal. Honestly I was planning on going base +4 today but a whole combination of factors (excuses?) made me reconsider once I was on the bike. My legs were burning at way lower workloads than they usually are (they're just tired), my legs were also weird/stiff (probably because it was morning and they're cold in the morning), and I was fasted, so between all those things I just went for the lower gear. I think it also made sense today because the point of the workout was to get at endurance zone big gear riding (not threshold or higher riding) and I definitely hit the right effort zone at this gearing. I will try this again a gear up at some point in the upcoming weeks, but it'll be planned as one of the hard sessions of the week as opposed to one of the more filler-esque workouts like it really was today. 
• I got to take a nice shake out run/walk with Helena in the afternoon. She's starting her 5k training which is super exciting! I came home and stretched afterwards and am generally surprised that my legs really don't feel great today, but whatever. They're doing the best they can I guess. That accumulated fatigue though...

Swim tomorrow will be the 5/4/3/2/1 x 100s set that Julia gave me way back when. I like to use this one to check in about where my aerobic free is, I feel like it's a good indicator of overall fitness. The goal will be 1:25s but honestly I haven't swum 100s on that pace time in a long time so there's a good chance it'll have to be 1:30s. I'm a little bit freaked out about even tackling the 1:25s, but I know I have to try, so I'm gonna give it all I have and see where it takes me. Time to study now!

Much love,

Jess

The short and the long

[Day 31]

Today was a weird day. Lots of ups and downs. Objectively speaking a pretty good day as far as everything goes, but somehow I'm still sort of disappointed. I don't really know how or why. Maybe I'm just tired. Here's the story.

So I think I woke up a little bit off. I didn't get the best sleep last night because I was out with friends and had some wine and did things like eat way too many cookies, all just generally stuff I try to avoid. Sometimes I'm really jealous that other people get to do these things, but it also doesn't feel quite right when I'm doing them either, so I dunno. It didn't feel like my best moment. I had a lot of fun and I know that's valuable, but I really struggle with not seeing that as some kind of failure on my part. I need to be a little less uptight about everything. It's hard though to stick to this kind of routine unless you're willing to be really harsh with yourself and that isn't something I can turn selectively on and off to allow for some laid back social time. Still figuring it out.

In any case, I got to run in the morning with one of my teammates which was a huge blessing. We went short and easy, another step on the ease back into running with my knee. The knee largely felt good, a little bit of aching somewhere in mile 3 but nothing bad and it resolved before we finished so I was okay with that. We had a great conversation during the run, just sort of got caught up since it'd been a while since we saw each other, and we had smoothies afterwards and stretched and it was super nice. I think that really brightened up my whole day. We're also making plans to ride outside next weekend if the weather is nice, so I'm excited about that too.

Today's AM Workout: Easy run, 4ish miles
Summary: 4.20 mi, 40:33, 9:39 pace
Pace splits by mile: 9:55, 9:45, 9:35, 9:21, 9:35

Hit Rate: 32/33 (96.9%)

Only other note/thought I have about the run is that the cadence issues I was having before seem to be a non-issue right now. 171 average today, I'm chill with that.

The PM workout was rough. It was planned that way so I knew what I was signing up for. Everything about it was tough though, I think just from a mental standpoint, I had a really hard time knowing that the intervals were long and I was going to be upping the speed in x number of minutes and there were no real recoveries in the long main set and it made it hard for me to just focus on what I was doing in that moment because the weight of the whole rest of the set was hanging over my head. I'm also just genuinely not good at dealing with pain. Like when things get difficult aerobically, I feel like I have some capacity to deal with that, but when my legs are collecting lactate it's so tough for me to stay on track and that's something I'm really working to try and be better at. You'd think that as a backstroker burn in the legs would be right up my alley, but outside of that one specific context I actually really struggle with this. Anyways, here are the deets:

Today's PM Workout: Trainer ride, 120 mins, endurance work + some sprints to finish

Summary:

• WU: 10 mins easy 
• Pre-set: 5 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• Main Set: 5 rounds, the goal was to get them all done at base +1 gearing but it ended up being 3 rounds at base +1 and 2 rounds at base (would rather have hit the right cadences than try to be a hero)
• 5 mins low 80s rpm 
• 5 mins high 80s rpm 
• 5 mins 95 rpm 
• (no real rests) 
• 4 mins easy 
• Sprints: 2 x (6 x :45/:45 MAX sprints at base +1 over 100 rpm, 2 mins recovery) 
• WD: 5-6 mins easy
• Totals: 29.07 mi, 2:00:39, 14.5 mph average

Hit Rate: 33/34 (97%)

Notes/thoughts:

• Henry was pretty key to this entire thing even happening. Got a lot of support, was not allowed to quit before I finished, nagged me about staying in the right position, I need this in my life for every trainer ride lol.
• My butt really hurt today. More so than is typical...not sure if it was just because I was on the trainer for longer or what, but that sort of sucks. Need a new saddle, but don't really want to invest in one and also really don't have the time to go figure that stuff out. Maybe over the summer or something...
• Didn't quite hit the entire thing at the resistance I wanted, so it'll be another set to back pocket and try again later on in the process. 

I'm really tired. Lift in the books for tomorrow morning with a short 20 minute easy run tagged onto the end. Again, hoping the knee will hold out after strength work, will see how they respond to running while tired. Enjoy what's left of the weekend! (:

Much love,

Jess

Living room workouts are turning out to be pretty clutch

[Day 22B]

I just ate a lot of BBQ. Very happy about that.

Today's PM Workout: Trainer ride, endurance work
Summary:

• WU: 10 mins easy 
• Pre-set: 5 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• Main set: 4 x 
• 4 mins @ 90-95 rpm base 
• 4 mins @ 60 rpm climb (base +4)
• 4 mins @ 90-95 rpm base 
• 3 mins @ 90-95 rpm pick up (base +1) 
• 3 mins easy 
• Technique work: 10 x :45/:15 single leg drill 
• WD: ~5 mins easy 
• Totals: 22.66 mi, 1:33:12, 14.6 mph average

Hit Rate: 22/23 (95.6%)

Notes/thoughts:

• The point of this workout was to learn to recover from the pick ups without dropping the base effort. Just building nice long steady endurance. 60 mins without a full recovery, it was good. (Last round was tough but all in all I'm willing to step it up the next time I do an iteration of this. Haven't decided if I wanna change pace/resistance/total time yet, so we'll see.)
• The best thing about workouts like this one is that they calm the rest of my life freak outs. I was sort of losing it over how much work I have to do and how behind I feel but I conquered this thing so it makes me feel like I can handle whatever else there is that life wants to throw at me. Reminders that we're deeper than we think. 
• My brain definitely went offline in the latter parts of that workout. If I didn't have my timer (get the Seconds app if you haven't already!) running with what each interval was supposed to be written down on it, I would have totally lost my place. All I could really focus on was keeping the pedals turning at the right speed. 
• Worth noting that I had some pretty bad wrist pain in the first 30 or so minutes of the ride (right side). I just adjusted my position a bunch of times and eventually found something that eased it up, and then later on it just seemed to go away...Dunno what the deal is. Will keep an eye on it though.
• Was listening to Swimcerely again (love it sooooo soooooo much) and was thinking about team dynamics in swimming and how we're all super competitive people but at the end of the day we're all rooting for each other and working to lift each other up. It's funny because I'm in medical school now and I feel like applicants are always asking things like whether or not it's competitive and never in my life had I associated competitiveness with sabotage or other negatively connoted actions before so it's been weird to try and address those things. Honestly I feel like medical school much closer resembles a swim team. We're all trying to do something that is, at the end of the day, honestly really difficult. We all work really hard, we're all doing our best, and we all want to be successful. But just because we want to be successful doesn't mean that we don't want our peers to be successful too. We do a lot to help lift each other up, because it's wonderful to help others and it's wonderful to be helped by others. I sort of dislike that people pit competitiveness and genuine niceness against each other because that's not how I think it works. I'm extremely competitive. But I also have a lot of love for my teammates and classmates and I want them to succeed just as much as I want to succeed. And beyond that, I want to play a part in supporting them and helping them succeed whenever it's possible, and I'm 100% sure that they feel the same way about me. I think we really need to lose this notion that competitive people are just out to get you and want you to fail so they can look good. I honestly don't think that's how it works, at least not in my experience. Okay end random Jess musings. Check out Spin's podcast though, it's fantastic. 

So random last minute decision: I'm going to swim practice tomorrow morning! Because...why not? It's 6-7 am, I'll have time to come home and eat some food and get a tiny bit of rest before I go lift with a classmate at 9 am. That'll be okay right? Right? Lol I'm an addict. Someone help me. Anyways, after that it's a pretty busy day. I've got a health screening to work in the afternoon and a take home exam I haven't looked at yet that I really need to start on. But I believe! Gonna go home (I'm in lab right now, but it turns out I couldn't do any lab work because I'm still short a few accesses, which is annoying because I've requested like 7 accesses already and apparently I need even more) and stretch and do some more studying and then hit the sack. 5:25ish alarm tomorrow morning so 9ish bedtime? (Wow so much sleeping in.) That'll be the goal. 9:30 wouldn't be the end of the world either. Alright, that's all from me! (:

Much love,

Jess

"I know 'cause my feet have the scars to show"

[Day 20B]

It's bedtime so we're gonna keep this brief.

Today's PM Workout: Trainer ride, more base work, a few sprints at the end
Summary:

• WU: 10 mins 
• Pre-set: 5 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• Main set: 
• 7 x (4 on/1:30 off) @ 95 rpm, 85 rpm, 75 rpm, 65 rpm, 75 rpm, 85 rpm, 95 rpm (started at threshold 95 rpm gear, called that base for the day, and added one gear for each drop in rpms)
• Extra 1:30 recovery 
• 2 x (5 x :45/:45 MAX sprints at base +1 over 100 rpm, 2 mins recovery) 
• WD: 7:30 mins easy 
• Totals: 19.07 mi, 1:20:26, 14.2 mph average

Hit Rate: 19/20 (95%)

Today was one of those days where I wanted to cry like 2 minutes into the warm up. Not even about the workout or whatever, I think it's just life things getting me down, but it was mentally rough. I had to turn off the podcast I had planned on listening to and just like be present with myself and focus and talk myself through it. Sometimes when I have days like this, I tell myself to just do 15 minutes and if I still feel horrible by then, I'll call it a day then and there. Things didn't get better by the 15 minute mark today but I felt really obligated to stick it out. I kept thinking about how in high school it didn't matter what else was going on in my life, I showed up to practice and stuck it out because that was what I was supposed to do. It's the kind of thing that taught me that I was deeper and stronger than I thought I was and that I could get through this kind of thing. I had done it before, so I knew I could do it today. (Hence the title quote.) I just felt like I'd be selling myself short if I just gave up to a bad mood so I kept with it and actually got in a real good quality workout.

I have an obscenely early morning tomorrow, even by my standards, so I'm gonna just leave it at that for tonight's update. (:

Much love,

Jess

PS - No knee pain with the cycling. I just rolled out and I can definitely feel the tightness in my right IT band versus my left and the twinge in the spot where I have pain when I press on it, so that's still there, but the cycling doesn't seem to aggravate it so I'm going to take that as a victory. The short 20 minute test treadmill run is still on for tomorrow. 

"What breaks your bones..."

[Day 12B]

"...is not the load you're carrying. What breaks you down is all in how you carry." - The Fray

How amazing is that line? The song came on (thank you shuffle!) during my walk home today (on my way to this workout!) and I was like wow that's amazing. I need to share this. And for all of you readers out there (so...all two of you...), if you ever catch me freaking out about my life, please direct me back to this quote thank you very much.

Also if you listen to the rest of the song and think that it's really sad, remember that it ends like this:

"Loneliness has always been with me, with me
Maybe we were meant to be on our own
But I got to try or it will destroy me
Cause maybe we don't have to be all alone"

It's not sad, it's amazing.

Oh and before we get into the real meat of the post: One of my fellow M1s mentioned my blog today while we were in class and I hit her up about it afterwards but I wanted to extend an invitation to anyone else who is reading as well (again, all two of you). I am always up for people joining me on workouts! Doesn't matter if you haven't worked out in forever (or ever) or if you're super hardcore and way more intense than me, I'm always up for a buddy for workouts. Just hit me up! (:

Anyways. Here's part two of the double!

Today's PM Workout: Trainer ride, a grab bag of some steady state efforts and max efforts
Summary:

• WU: 10 mins easy, 5 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• Main Set: 
• 2 x 10/2 @ 95+ rpm working
• 2 x 5/2 @ 95+ rpm working 
• 1 min extra recovery 
• 2 x (5 x :45/:45 MAX sprints, 2 mins recovery) 
• WD: 7 mins easy 
• Total: 19.14 mi, 1:20:07, 14.3 mph

Hit Rate: 12/12 (100%)

Notes/thoughts:

• Regarding the workout: the 10 and 5 minute intervals were at whatever resistance I felt like I could hold throughout the set. Wasn't worried so much about it being difficult as I was about just getting smooth and really being above 95 rpm (because I've done a lot in the 90-95 zone recently where I seem to be more comfortable but I wanted to work at the higher cadences a bit). Brought it up two gears for the max efforts, tried to be above 100 rpm on those but inevitably fell as the set wore on. It was nice to just tear out really hard full on efforts though, I haven't done that in a while (in any of the sports or in the gym really) so that was a total blast. Surprising, because I was sort of dreading those, but they were actually super awesome. (They were also short intervals, I gave myself those extra 2 minutes recovery in the middle, blah blah blah but let's not step on my moment.)
• Just a side note: I know a lot of people without power meters like to try to use trainer speed as a proxy for power, but that's terrible. I don't even know why I keep those distance and speed numbers in my summary, because honestly I think that really depends on how tight I tighten the flywheel on my trainer on that particular day. Pretty sure the numbers can't vary that much day to day. (I do most of my trainer rides off feel, I've been swimming long enough to have a good sense for effort and I don't mind training by effort, especially given that's how I race.)
• Fun story: I hilariously spilled a ton of water on myself during one of my longer recovery intervals today. I know that it takes me more than a single bottle of water to get through any trainer ride longer than 60 minutes, but I never poor myself more than a bottle, I always just leave my Brita filter next to me, which is stupid. So today when I went to refill, I totally just like poured it all over myself because that's what happens when you're tired and dehydrated in the middle of a workout. Lesson learned? We shall see the next time I ride...
• Random thought: The step counter on my Garmin can be so obnoxious. Some days it's like "you didn't hit your goal today" and I'm over here trying to explain to it that I did two workouts but it doesn't understand that because they weren't walking based workouts. -sigh-
• No drill set today. Mainly because I didn't want to be on the trainer for more than 80 minutes (those minutes will come up as we get into the thick of things in the next few months, I'm in no rush for longer trainer days). I'm going to keep trying to integrate that at the end of my workouts though, I do think it's important and I do think it makes a difference to my riding. 
• A quick update about early morning thoughts: I will keep my second swim this week on Thursday morning instead of Friday, just logistically easier given the rest of my schedule, so I guess no more free rides for me this week...Will be biking to practice on Thursday. Fingers crossed for warmer weather and no wind!
• I've been listening to this awesome new podcast called Swimcerely with Spindrift. I usually listen to a podcast during my trainer rides, usually something sport related (some of my favourites are this one, Endurance Planet, Pursuing Health with Julie Foucher, Winging it in Motown, some old series of podcasts from like 2014 involving a lot of pretty big name triathlete interviews that I've forgotten the name of, etc.) and I just wanted to give this one a shout-out because it's competitive swimmer specific and I figure there might be some other people who would like checking it out. It's fantastic. I'll just leave it at that. 
• Body still feels good mostly, not too much change, some amount of upper body soreness, back really starting to kick in but it's just muscles being tight. I've been stretching/foam rolling throughout the day and I actually think the bike has helped loosen up my back a bit. (People don't typically say that, but hey, apparently it's happening right now.)

Today was a good day, weirdly enough. It started on such a "meh" kind of note and I did the whole carrying on thing and I'm really happy with how it all turned out in the end. A lot of validation for that whole "action is always the cure for doubt" idea. I mean it wasn't a perfect day, but it was good. I'm happy with it. I'm proud. It's nice because I ended yesterday on such a disappointing note. I'm glad I'm in a better place tonight.

As for tomorrow, only one workout on the books, a morning treadmill run done as a big long continuous hill climb (lol we'll see how that goes) and some core work following (please do it future Jess please please please I know you hate this but please do it). I'm gonna shower and eat and stretch and roll out and hopefully get some more reviewing done (yay med school...) and then hit the sack! Have a good evening all! (:

Much love,
Jess

It's cold outside

[Day 10]

First plan change of the year! (Unless you count last Wednesday? Which wasn't so much a plan change as just a "nope not gonna do that today".) Anyways, Tsehay and I decided this morning that as much as we are total badasses who can take on anything, it was too cold for either of us to want to run outside today (-13 C, feels like -23 C, I may be Canadian but without something to cover my cheeks I'm not going out in that temperature to run for an hour...). xD Side note: props to one of my hardcore cyclist friends for going out and riding today. Beast mode much? Anyways, as a result, I pulled up a planned trainer workout from later in the week and we rescheduled our run for Thursday afternoon. So this is what I did instead today!

Today's Workout: PM trainer ride, 80 mins
Summary:

• WU: 10 mins easy, 5 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• Pre-set: 4 x 2/1, fast/easy spinning (100+ rpm), focus on smooth pedal strokes 
• Main Set: cadence work, 95 rpm/80 rpm/95 rpm/105+ rpm/recovery pattern 
• 4/4/3/1/2 
• 3/3/2/1/2 
• 2/2/1/1/2 
• 2 mins easy 
• Technique set: 10 x :45/:15 single leg drill 
• WD: 8 mins easy 
• Total: 17.44 mi, 1:20:06, 13.1 mph average

Hit Rate: 9/9 (100%)

The notes/thoughts:

• Regarding the workout: I did the pre-set and main set on the same gear, which was about threshold at 95 rpm and probably a bit higher than that at 100+ rpm (except for recovery, which I dropped down a gear for).
• The single leg drill is steadily improving. On like number three I was thinking I wouldn't be able to hold out on the gear I was in but surprisingly enough I got through the entire thing without having to drop down. I think I'm learning the efficiency, slowly but surely.
• I still need to work on upper body position on harder efforts. When things get hard I do all manner of weird things with my upper body which is totally not how real life riding would work. Have to focus on that more. 
• Today was sort of a crazy day? I had a lot on my plate for some reason, and Sundays are always stressful because I feel a lot of pressure to get my life put together before the week starts, but I think I did alright for myself given it all. 
• Oh this is random but I have to share: I bought cookie dough (which is not a thing that I do) and I made myself a small batch of mini chocolate chip cookies that I ate after my workout (yeah, I know, not real recovery food) and it was delicious and amazing and it made me really happy. And the best part is I still have like 4/5 of the thing of cookie dough left so there will definitely be more cookies to come. Good decisions past-Jess (:

Only one session on the books for tomorrow, a lift in the morning with a short treadmill run, probably much the same if not identical to last Monday. Hopefully it'll tear my body apart a little bit less this week because I would really like not to spend all of it really sore. We shall see. Fingers crossed!

Much love,

Jess

This seems familiar...

[Day 7B]

...It's almost like I've already been here before today. Oh wait. I have. Good to be back. (:

This afternoon was somewhat interesting. I had the afternoon mostly free from obligations save a 1 pm meeting with my PI, so it was nice to get to decide what I wanted to do with my time. I got laundry done, studied some immunology, and took a trainer ride. Now I'm eating dinner (love it when I still have curry from Monday on Thursday, with even enough for lunch tomorrow!) whilst Skyping Henry (or really watching him make dinner over Skype) and writing this post!

I will admit, I was a bit stressed out this afternoon. I felt like I had a lot of studying to do for school and I wasn't going to have enough time to do that and errands and working out and feeding myself and everything else that's going on. I was freaking up pretty much up until the moment that I got on the trainer and got started. I put on an Endurance Planet podcast (I'm currently listening to the Badwater series they just got started on, it's a really great podcast, highly recommend) and settled into my ride and surprisingly enough the workout really calmed me down.

I decided not to push the resistance today (I never really track resistance on my trainer rides anyways because I'm not always consistent with how I tighten the flywheel on the back) and just focused on getting to a comfortably quick spot while hitting the right turnover with good form. The workout was pretty similar to what I did last Sunday, just a tad longer and in a reverse pyramid structure. I want to work on being able to conquer the longer parts of my sets towards the end of the workout. It's easy to work your way down but it's hard to work your way back up just in terms of the mental side of things, so I wanted to mix it up and try and get comfortable knowing I was starting and ending on my longest interval (which, granted, at 7 minutes was not very long).

It all felt surprisingly good. I've been having on and off mild knee pain from slightly over-extending my knee on Tuesday (when I'm really sore my legs tend to wobble when I walk and sometimes I can get strange kinks in my joints because of it) and I was especially worried about the double today, but it felt good on the bike and it feels good now, so hopefully that will continue to hold out. Not too much to comment on other than that. Here was the workout!

Today's PM Workout: 75 min base trainer ride
Summary:

• WU: 10 mins easy 
• Pre-set: 5 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• Main Set: threshold intervals of 7/2, 5/2, 3/2, 3/2, 5/2, 7/2 
• Drill set: 10 x :45/:15 single leg drill 
• WD: 8 mins easy 
• Total: 16.26 mi, 1:15:07, 13.0 mph average

Hit Rate: 6/6 (100%)

Tomorrow is another double! Morning swim practice (yay IM day!), afternoon run with a friend (5-7 miles? Probably easy? TBD?). And then Saturday is my off day! And the start of playoff football! All good stuff. Gonna eat and shower and get some work done before that early early bedtime. (:

Much love,
Jess

Anticipation

[Day 3]

The first practice of the year in the fall was always a big highlight of the back to school season for me. I tended to take the entire summer off from swimming, unlike some of my teammates who did summer season in the US with club teams, so the first practice of the year for me was typically after a 2 or so month long hiatus from structured training. It was the kind of thing that was both super exciting (I always missed the water) and super intimidating (as it should be when you're totally out of shape). Normally I made a point of keeping up with my swimming over the winter (our biggest meet of the year typically happened in February which meant that there was no time for slacking off or breaks in the winter) so it was a strange experience to find myself taking a break from training this winter break and anticipating the January return. I guess the timing of the triathlon off-season is still foreign to me and that's something that will take some getting used to.

In any case, I've had some nerves about me all break about getting back into the swing of things both in terms of school and training. My biggest worry is always the mental side of things. Just like it takes my body a while to get physically back into shape, it also takes my brain a while to get mentally used to the schedule and workload again. That's always the part I like least, it makes me feel weaker than being physically weak does. But I know it's an inevitable part of the process, so I'm trying not to get too psyched out about it when I'm only a day into the real work.

I also know that getting back into a consistent training schedule is also a lot like endurance racing: The first portion is always unpredictable and largely does not indicate how the latter portions will play out. It's best not to overthink things in the early game because I won't get an accurate sense of the situation until after my body has settled down into a comfortable rhythm and pace anyways. I will probably be reminding myself of that fact a lot over the course of the next few days and weeks.

So for today, I stuck to a very easy and short indoor trainer ride. I'm avoiding the outdoors for now because I haven't ventured out onto the roads in a while so they freak me out a bit and because it's cold. I will...work towards overcoming both of those things in the coming months, but for now, I'll stick to the trainer rides. Here's the summary!

Today's Workout: Base trainer ride, 60 mins
Summary:

• WU: 10 mins easy 
• Pre-set: 5 x :30/:30 spin ups 
• Main Set: threshold intervals of 8/2, 6/2, 4/2, 2/2 @ 90-95 rpm, 1 gear off 70-80 rpm rests
• Drill set: 10 x :45/:15 single leg drill 
• WD: 7 mins easy
• Total: 12.64 mi, 1:00:36, 12.5 mph

Hit Rate: 1/1 (100%) - aw yeah, we're back in business.

Some notes/realizations:

• Jet lag sucks. I woke up at 1:30 am this morning after about 3 hours of sleep, suffice it to say that I feel terrible. The focused parts of the workout felt okay but as soon as I moved into warm down territory I was pretty certain I was going to die. Part of being exhausted for me always involves feeling nauseous, and I'm sure the cardio intensive activity is not helping with that at all. Ew.
• I can't actually watch football while training. I try. I had (still have) the Pats game on but other than vaguely following who had possession and the score (and somewhat watching during rest intervals), I really couldn't actually pay attention to football. Every time I tried, the cadence fell off, so I just focused on riding instead.
• I was actually aiming for 95+ rpm in the main set but my legs feel like they're really not used to turnover. That's something I will have to work on. Maybe some short sprint sets in the next few weeks to try and ease into longer segments at the higher cadence. 90 rpm is fairly comfortable for me but 95 always feels like a push.
• I suck at single leg stuff. I'm okay for like 15-20 seconds and then the top part of my pedal stroke falls apart. I also hate working on it because it's such a struggle but I think I'm going to make a point of putting this set into the end of every trainer workout because it's important that I nail this efficiency thing. As a swimmer, I am a big believer in maximizing efficiency whenever possible, so I just have to buckle down and learn how to pedal properly.

The game is at half time, I was told by Henry that I have to stay awake until the game ends, so I'll probably go take a quick shower and watch the Pats mount a comeback victory to clinch the top seed in the playoffs, then pass out for many hours and make dinner slash lunch for tomorrow at like 2 am when I wake up. xD 

The plan for tomorrow is a pretty standard gym workout followed by a short treadmill run and a small amount of core/mobility work. It'll be a long morning workout, but the only one of the day. I'm a little bit freaked out about getting back in the gym. I always am after I'm out for a while because I'm scared of hurting myself and honestly the gym still intimidates me after all these years. (Don't get me wrong, I love it, it's just scary to move really heavy things around sometimes.) I'm sure it'll be fine once I actually show up though, just gotta get back at it! Yay shower time!

Much love,

Jess