Falling short

[Day 133]

I had a rough night last night, had a late start this morning, had to cut my run short so I could still make it to small group/lab. Disappointed that I wasn't on top of my sleep schedule, disappointed that I didn't suck it up and get up early enough to get my entire run in anyways, just generally disappointed with myself.

Today's Workout: AM easy run, 4 mi (planned 5 mi)
Summary: 4.05 mi, 39:31, 9:45 pace, 178 spm
Pace splits by mile: 10:23, 9:55, 9:23, 9:25
Hit rate: 7/7 (100%) - I honestly don't even feel good about giving myself credit for this run but I know that dropping a mile on an easy day isn't actually as atrocious of an offense as it feels like to me...

Notes/thoughts:

• That mile that I dropped this morning is probably going to haunt me for a while, especially if I fall short of my goals/expectations this summer. I'm not good at letting things like this go. It's probably a terrible trait of mine, but I can't help it. Cutting things short or not giving all the effort I want to give just doesn't sit well with me. I can't help it. 
• I started out real slow but was surprised that after about15-20 minutes my legs seemed to get into it and I actually felt real strong and smooth on the way home. It reminds me of in-season swimming. I need insanely long warm ups to get my body into it but it will perform if I give it time to warm up. Apparently this may be a thing that holds true for the running as well.
• Freaking out about tomorrow. The run is gonna be long and tough and ends on some real fast running and I just don't know what to expect of myself and the level of effort it'll take to hit all the paces right. And the thing is, I really don't think I can mentally take another disappointing day. I need a good day, I really need a good day, but I have to make those good days with my own two hands (or I guess legs in this case) and the pressure feels really crazy sometimes. I don't know if I can do it, but I know I have to try and I know that if I try and I fall short, Friday night will be a long one and I don't want that. Pressure pressure pressure.

Have a good Thursday folks (:

Much love,

Jess