Transitions

I am letting myself go lol. And it's not a bad thing. I think I need to learn to let myself go if I'm going to do the rest of my life and really be happy. Achieving stuff is pretty cool. This year and everything that's gone into it and how much I've improved has been really cool. But I want to feel like I have control over my life. I want to feel like I can make choices about what I do and don't do on any given day. I want to take a little bit of pressure off of myself and be a little bit happier than I usually am.

So really what I'm saying is I've been training less. I'm sort of throwing the plan out the window. And unfortunately with that goes a lot of the goals. I'm not expecting to run very fast at the 10k because despite the fact that I'm supposed to be in peak training weeks right now, I've taken four straight days off from training (and 6 off from running). I'm doing life instead and I love it and I'm willing to sacrifice a good 10k time to just do life instead. It's weird, this isn't how I usually roll, but I think it's something I needed to come to terms with and I'm glad I'm doing it.

I think the other responsibility I'm going to drop for a little while is this blog. It's been fun and it's been really meaningful and helpful to have a place to reflect on training and voice my frustrations and record everything I've accomplished and to let myself be proud of how far I've come. But I guess without really concrete goals and without me being really committed to something right now, it seems like a bit of a time sink that I don't need. I'll keep logging the way I used to, in short form locally on my computer, but I think I'm going to let the daily blogging fall away for a while. I'll probably be back at some point, but I don't know when or why. I'm sure I'll know when the time is right. For now, I'm going to go on a new adventure of finding the new balance in my life now that all the priorities have shifted. Wish me luck. (:

Much love,
Jess