"When it's dark you cannot be afraid"

[Day 76A]

Okay so expect posts for the next two weeks to be short and to the point. Part of it is because of time crunch related to upcoming exams and part of it is because honestly I've been feeling really unmotivated and unsatisfied and I want to prioritize directing my energy at getting things (like schoolwork and workouts) done rather than overthinking how crappy I feel right now. It's okay, we'll get through. (Shout-out to Henry for keeping my sorry ass on track even though I've literally wanted to skip every workout so far this week.)

Today's AM Workout: Gym, ~1:15
Summary:

• Squats: WU 12 @ 75#, 4 x 8/8/8/6 @ 115#
• Wasn't gonna go for set 4, I don't really know what made me do it anyways lol
• Flat bench: WU 12 @ 55#, 4 x 12/10/6/6 @ 85# 
• These felt weak today, wasn't happy about that but whatever, just keeping grinding it'll come around eventually
• Deadlifts: 4 x 8/8/6/6 @ 155# 
• Not the cleanest lifting in terms of back involvement and grip strength is definitely an issue, will just take time/repetition to get better, I'm okay with that
• Pulldowns: 4 x 10-2/8-4/6-2/8-4 @ 7.5 plates alternating wide/narrow grip 
• I added the half plate today, the grip strength definitely cut into what I could do, as you can see I literally couldn't hold onto the bar...worse on the right side wide-gripping especially
• Lunges (DB weighted): 4 x 12/side @ 20#/side alternating forward/reverse by set 
• Had a knee kink on the L side in the middle of these because I was going pretty quick through them, probably worthwhile to slow down and take stock of form and all...
• DB shoulder press: 3 x 12 @ 25#/side 
• Okay we're gonna bring these up to 30 lbs and see what rep scheme I can do with that kind of weight and go from there next time...or I might do some barbell work because it's been a while since I've push pressed, etc. etc. TBD
• Wanted to do DB rows, couldn't because I literally couldn't hold onto the weight so I opted out of those today. I guess it's going to take some time for the grip strength to adjust to my back being stronger...
• Incline bench: 3 x 12/12/10 @ 75# 
• Pretty happy w/ the rep counts, had some R elbow pain during the set probably relating to my forearms being pretty weak and having a hard time with stabilization, which is funny because my L elbow has been bothering me the past few days and that was the one I was expecting to give me problems. Unpredictable at times.

Hit Rate: 80/88 (90.9%)

Back to that med school grind now. 12 miler tonight. Stay tuned.

Much love,

Jess