Yesterday's afternoon run was a long slow ordeal, and generally fairly low on the perceived effort scale, which gave me a lot of time to contemplate training and life in general. And then I had sort of a weird night following what was overall a very positive run. I will share my thoughts below, but first, the workout details:
Yesterday's PM Workout: Base run (6-8 mi)
Summary: 7.04 mi, 1:13:09, 10:24 pace.
Pace splits by mile: 9:27, 10:02, 10:30, 10:42, 10:36, 10:40, 10:49, 10:40.
Hit rate: 24/26 (92.3%)
In regards to the actual run, I was happy with the effort level I held even though the pace was slow. My legs felt like lead the first two miles and surprisingly they were the fastest, although that has a tendency of holding true any time I'm starting out on tired legs. I think it's just an attempt to compensate for how strange they feel before they get into it. The cadence got way low in the second half of the run so that's something I have to continue working on. I feel like I'm getting better at moderating effort on the hills, which I think is an important skill that I'm developing. I really need to take this route backwards at some point, just to see what it's like to run all those hills in the other direction.
Now for some musings:
(1) Quality versus quantity. I had this entire conversation with myself about how maybe I was focusing too much on quantity and not enough on quality. At the end of the day though, I realized that my goal Olympic distance race is likely not going to be a super high quality race. It's going to be a finish as quickly as possible on as even an effort as possible (read: try not to blow up halfway, don't get too ambitious, just get to the end). And in that regard, it makes sense for my training to be similar. What's going to be hard about this race isn't quality so much as just going the distance, so it really is quantity that I'm struggling with and I have to get that quantity in before I can even worry about quality. I thought a little bit about how that relates to swimming and how the focus with young swimmers is always increasing volume while focusing on technique, not speed. So I think I'm going to try to take a similar approach with the training: Focus on volume and technique, not speed. We'll re-evaluate in 3 weeks at the halfway point and see if any changes need to be made to that focus overall.
(2) Optimizing training versus maximizing life in general. I had this entire realization that a lot of times I sit around trying to figure out how I can get the most out of training when I should really be trying to figure out how I can get the most out of life. Just like with the prioritization, there are going to be other things in life that bring me satisfaction and fulfillment that may take away minutes from my finish times. That's okay. Nothing rides on my finish times. What's most important is figuring out what is worth those minutes to me and what isn't so I can try and get the most out of life. I'm really going to work on balancing my goals with my other pursuits and my happiness and my love for everything that I do.
(3) Giving myself credit. I think this was something that I started thinking about on my run and not really sorting out until I had a bit of a sad streak late at night. I've realized that oftentimes I don't give myself permission to feel broken down. I never feel like I've worked hard enough to deserve feeling fatigued or sore or whatever, and so it makes me really upset when I'm beat down because I think I shouldn't be. It leads to a lot of guilt about wanting or taking rest (whether that's just lying down for a bit or napping or going to bed early) and a lot of guilt when I feel the need to complain about how beat down I feel. I think I really need to work on accepting that what I do is tough for me (may not be tough for other people or match up to their standards, but it's tough for me) and that I do my best and I'm allowed to be exhausted sometimes and I'm allowed to want rest. I need to give myself credit for the work that I do and stop feeling like I haven't earned my rest or recovery. In the long run, it will help with not only the mental side of things but also the actual quality of my recovery.
So those were the thoughts I had during/after my run. It's now early on Sunday morning and I'm planning on taking a brick in about a half hour. That will be my only workout for the day, which will be a nice break from the past two double days. I will report back on that one later.
Much love,
Jess
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