Sunday, August 23, 2015

Sleepless nights, getting angry, conviction, redemption

I guess I left off on Wednesday, with a back injury and some amount of frustration. I ended up spending some amount of time just playing around on the trainer that evening once I had my new pedals on, just clipping in and clipping out. It was really hard at first because the springs were really tight but I started to get the hang of it.

The next day was flat out awful. I woke up around 1:30 in the morning and tossed and turned in bed for about an hour and a half before I decided it was futile to try to get back to sleep so I got up and dealt with some errands. I went to swim practice, which was my first sprint day practice with CSP, and on one hand really didn't work that hard and on the other hand really really enjoyed it. Sprinting is more my speed in the pool, and we also did a lot of kick work and work with fins, which I appreciated. It was a freezing cold day though, which was sort of rough in that every time my arms cleared the surface they froze and every time we stopped to get instructions my face froze. (It was like 55F...the pool was much warmer.) My lane also apparently had a hard time listening to instructions because we definitely messed some stuff up. But oh well, it was a solid swim anyways.

Thursday's AM Workout: CSP practice, sprint day
Summary:
  • WU:
    • 1000 SKIPS (IM drill)
    • 2 x 50 free DPS @ :55 (was written as 4 x 50)
  • Main Set:
    • 2 x (6 x 50 free) @ :55
      • 1: easy
      • 2-3: build
      • 4-6: hard
      • It was supposed to just be 6, 1 easy, 2 build, 3 hard, repeat. But we misunderstood the directions.
    • MAX kick w/ fins @ 1:00 base (we actually ended up doing a mix of :45-1:00 base intervals…)
      • 150 @ 2:30
      • 2 x 100 @ 1:45
      • 3 x 50 @ 1:00
    • 3 x 100 free pull FAST (no paddles) @ 1:50 (idk if we really made these), focus on fastest possible turnover (I went RB5 on these)
    • 6 x 100 free swim w/ fins MAX @ 2:00 (these weren't really max, I had a hard time sprinting with fins on…it was weird)
  • WD: 6 x 50 alt. back/free by 50 @ :55 (lol this was too aggressive, some were on 1:00)
  • Total Distance: 3400 LCM
Hit rate: 47/50 (94%)

It was a rough day simply because it was sort of endless (and started obscenely early). I pretty much had no spare seconds in the day. Right after I got home from school, I hopped on the trainer and did a big gear strength ride. 

Thursday's PM Workout: Trainer ride, strength work (big gears)
Summary
  • WU: 8 mins easy, 2 mins @ base of a hill
  • Main Set: 
    • 5 x 8 mins threshold effort 60 rpm big gear, 2 mins easy spinning recovery
    • 5 x 40 secs MAX/20 secs easy, big gear sprint pick ups (stay at threshold gear or drop by 1)
  • WD: 5 mins base of a hill, 5 mins easy
  • Total Time: 75 mins
  • Note: Was originally written as 8 x MAX/easy efforts but I was dying and also running low on time (busiest day ever!) The threshold efforts were actually really hard, just hurt the whole way, so I'm really amazed that I made them all at the specified intensity. Just gotta believe.
  • Summary: 18.43 mi, 1:15:37, 14.6 mph.
  • Splits: 14.1, 15.3, 15.2, 13.7
Hit rate: 48/51 (94.1%)

The entire set hurt but I got through it and was really proud of the effort. I pretty much immediately showered and went to an evening info session and training session for some stuff at school, so the busy day continued. I actually spent the entire day from lunch onwards just being angry. I got angry at the littlest things but I almost encouraged myself to be angry because the anger kept me awake and focused and hungry to tear shit up and get shit done. So despite the exhaustion and how hectic the day was, I managed to do everything I had to do. It was really emotionally and physically wearing, but it got done. I'm not sure this is how I want all of my days go (because this is probably not a healthy way to tackle life), but if I have to get through one of these days every once in a while in order to stay on track, I will take it. 

The next morning was real rough. I went to bed feeling real rough and woke up exhausted and unmotivated and pretty physically wrecked. I was going to do an interval workout for running but decided to just take a base run instead. It was funny because I kept planning on going easy but at the beginning and at the end there were other women in my vicinity and I always wanted to get in front of them and drop them so there were some pushes during the run. I guess you can't curb the competitiveness even when you're cranky and exhausted.

Friday's Workout: AM base run
Summary: 7.05 mi, 1:05:32, 9:18 pace.
Pace splits by mile: 9:38, 9:03, 9:07, 9:31, 9:11, 9:35, 9:04, 7:43.
Hit rate: 49/52 (94.2%)

The weather was nice and cool and it was overcast which made for a great day. I would have really loved to take better advantage of that kind of weather and actually cranked out some speed or something, but I'll take just getting through what I had to do.

Friday afternoon through Saturday evening were all spent at the Diversity Retreat. Not too much happened by way of things that could count as actually physical or active, but it also wasn't an inactive day, so I was satisfied with that much. My back was giving me a lot of trouble on Saturday though because of all the standing, which was pretty rough. I was planning on taking a short ride with some friends on Saturday night, just to practice clipping in and out and what not, but the rain spoiled our plans. I was sort of upset about taking an unplanned day off and really upset about being busy and having no time to do the things I wanted to do and that really threw me off. There was a bit of an emotional evening, a lot of being angry and frustrated and sad. But bad days are a part of everything right? Just gotta push through.

Saturday: Day off, missed a planned ride.
Hit rate: 49/53 (92.4%)

Despite how rough things have been recently though, I feel like I've found a whole new sense of conviction for what I'm doing. Not just in terms of training, but also in terms of school and life in general. I want to take good care of myself, I believe that's important, I really value that, so I want to put effort into things like planning and keeping my home clean and making sure I'm eating well. I am so invested in what I'm learning in school, in the future I'm working towards, and I don't need it to be easier, I'm willing to fight through this and be the best that I can be. The same goes for the training. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and everyone would be successful. For the first time in a long time I feel like I really understand why I'm here and I'm really honestly in love with everything I'm doing and I'm willing to throw myself whole-heartedly into these things even if they lead to difficult days that leave me tired and cranky. I have an honest belief that what I'm pushing through is valuable. It's nice to feel fulfilled by all of this work finally, instead of feeling like I had my hands tied all the time and just had to do things because I was expected to do things. 

This morning, I woke up and took the longest brick I've ever taken in my life. It actually felt much better than I was expecting it to. I think a key contributor to that was the fact that I took two Shot Bloks beforehand, had Gatorade Endurance in one of my water bottles, and took a Clif Shot about 1:15 into the ride. I've never taken a gel mid-workout before, but I swear this one saved me. I'm probably going to need to buy more fuel to use on these longer rides/runs. 

Today's Workout: Long ride brick
Summary:
  • Bike summary: 29.43 mi, 1:50:17, 16.0 mph.
  • Bike splits: 15.1, 16.2, 16.5, 15.8, 16.3, 16.2
  • Transition: 2:24.3
  • Run summary: 5.14 mi, 47:58, 9:20 pace.
  • Run splits: 9:01, 9:40, 9:39, 9:16, 9:09, 8:46
Hit rate: 50/54 (92.5%)

I went the Clayton-N Geyer-W Adams-N Ballas route today, which was longer and had more elevation gain overall than the Midland-Ashby route. I also ran a little further than I usually do and I took my out and back on the slightly hillier side of the park to try and get my legs acclimated to hill work post-ride. All in all my body took it way better than I thought I would. The bike started off feeling pretty rough but I held on surprisingly well. I think the bike shoes definitely do help, especially on the climbs (which I am still steadily improving at!). I'm still worried about the big climbs during Club Nationals but I figure I can drop down into my smaller front ring and just grind slowly slowly if I have to. 

For next week's big Sunday brick, I'm either going to take a 24-mile or 30-mile ride and try to follow it up with a full lap of Forest Park. I don't care so much about time or speed, I just want to know I can get that full run in coming off the bike. One big long confidence booster before I have to pull things back and get ready to race. Gotta do the rest of my crazy life now, will hopefully be back with better frequency in this upcoming week than I've managed to do this past week.

Much love,
Jess

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