Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Rest and Restlessness

Predictably, I've been gone for a while. The foot injury turned out to be plantar fasciitis and persisted up until about Wednesday or Thursday of last week when the pain started waning and regular walking got a little bit easier. Obviously I hadn't trained in the meantime and I tried to focus on academic work (to mixed success) but by the time the weekend had swung around and I had to go pick up my race packet for Sunday's Hot Chocolate 15k, I was starting to get a bit restless from my break. I had made the decision to just forgo the race because of the injury. I wanted to make sure that my foot would be good to go for the upcoming Spring training block (which I've drawn out my outline/plans for already!) and for skiing over winter break (which is up in the air right now because it turns out my little brother injured his ankle as well...). In the end though, Henry convinced me that if I wanted to do it, I should give my foot a test run on Saturday and just go for it if it felt okay, so that's exactly what I did.

My Saturday test run actually felt horrible. It was a 4 miler and my foot felt okay for most of it, it ached but it didn't hurt too seriously until very close to the end. The problem was that I was soooooo out of shape, just finishing the 4 miler was tough and my pace kept dropping off so much from mile to mile. I spent Saturday experiencing a lot of angst about being out of shape but ended up deciding to race on Sunday anyways. It was really intimidating because I really thought that there was a chance I wouldn't have it in me to finish. I knew that the race was going to be shorter and slower than my typical long run, and yet I also knew it was going to be way tougher because I was in no physical condition to be doing it. I wanted to try though, and Henry was really supportive of everything that was freaking me out, so I ended up going for it at the end of the day.

I will write a real race report for this race and a bigger reflection on the training that's led up to it after my finals week (which I am in the middle of currently). Suffice it to say that my performance during the race was pretty poor, but I'm extremely proud of myself for going out there and doing it and pushing through a tough day anyways. The one thing I do want to comment on is something I've realized about the nature of my recent racing experiences: During my competitive swimming days, I used to go to at least one or two meets a month and it meant that there was a very clear distinction between important races and all the other races. Racing frequently meant I had a certain tolerance for bad races and bad days because I always had another opportunity coming up. I was better at accepting the non-linearity of progress and knew that I wasn't going to get a PB every single race. I think that mentality helped me overall to just embrace doing the best that I could on any given day, always reaching for that PB but not demanding it of myself because I knew how hard progress could be to come by sometimes. There's been a lot of pressure associated with my racing in triathlon and running because the races are infrequent and the training build up takes so long and I feel like I have to perform at every single one and it's a lot of pressure every time. I want to try and remove some of that pressure, I would like to be able to approach racing in this sport the same way I approached racing in swimming. Maybe next year, when I have more ample transportation options, I will sign up for more casual 5ks and 10ks and just work on racing regularly as a part of training. But that's also an expensive and time-consuming endeavor, so we'll see what comes of it...In any case, my point is, there will be a real race report coming later, so expect that.

After running that race though, I've felt really impatient about getting back into training, even if it's just unstructured working out. Unfortunately, finals is a thing, followed by winter break when I will likely not be training because I'll be trying to spend as much time as I can with the family I don't see very often. It's sort of unfortunate, but honestly that's the only reason I'm here writing this post: I'm feeling really restless. Which I guess was the entire point of taking a break: your body and your mind let you know when it's ready and rested and wants to get going again. Even reading back through the blog, I'm starting to notice that you can really tell how I'm feeling about training by the tone of the posts. Sometimes training is going great and I'm feeling great and things are fantastic! Sometimes training is going great but I feel terrible and sometimes training is going terrible but I feel great! There's such a mix of things, but it all comes out in what I'm writing, and I think the most important thing I've realized is that there's a big difference between when I'm enjoying the process and when I'm not. I'll try to be more cognizant of that in the upcoming year and upcoming training cycle. For now, I have to prioritize studying over my brain's desires to go frolic in the park though, so I have to get back to hitting the books.

Other quick updates before I leave:
- I picked up my long sleeve team jersey for cycling yesterday! Good motivation to take it out for a spin in the cold, maybe this Saturday after exams and before I fly out.
- I just bought a sleeveless wetsuit for the April/May races, which I'm super pumped about. (I'm also super glad Henry let me do that, because wetsuits are a big financial investment.)

Okay time to get back to that physical exam and physiology review! Stay tuned for the next race report!

Much love,
Jess

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